Eternity
by nat rulz
Summary: There is no armour against fate, death lays his icy hands on kings. Fate, a force that will scorn you and bind you for all eternity... and at its centre sits Harry James Potter, a child, a hero, a legend. When his world falls will he be able to catch it?
1. Planting Seeds

**Summery-** The point of building a house of cards is to see it reach the sky before it tumbles into ruin. Sometimes all you need is a little motivation and a touch of fate to do what you always wished to do. Harry gets some startling news and decides that its time to put his life into order. Armed only with a voice in his head that sounds remarkably like Tom Riddle, and a _'To Do'_ list Harry sets out to set the pieces in place. Incudes sadness, determination, betrayal by one thought an angel and love by one thought a demon. A bittersweet story that shows you how love, in all its purity, can solve almost anything, that some things last through life, death and whatever the hell follows afterwards- that the point of the cards is not to fall, but to touch the sky...

**Parings-** Hermione/Ron and (if you really, really squint) implied Ginny/Draco. No pairings for Harry and the two listed are simply background pairings. Harry is the main character- his pov and all

**Warnings-** Spoilers for all but the latest book. This is Harry's sixth year.

**A/N-** Hello everyone, here's another one of my stories. I know what I said about not having any more but, you see, I had this published under a different name on this site (so if you recognise it, I assure you, its mine) to see if it would be as successful with an unknown name. Experiment completed so I'm putting I under its rightful name—mine! Yay! Hope you all like it and please read and review! Enjoy!

-Nat rulz

_It feels like a dream_  
_It feels like a lie_  
_It feels like a fantasy_  
_Yet, I want to cry_  
_I'm sure I'm imagining_  
_And how despair calls_  
_How quickly my life_  
_Just crumbles and falls_

**Chapter One: Planting Seeds **

Harry James Potter could swear he was dreaming

"How long?"

The words were distant, detached, as though a single, tiny breath of air could sweep them away as if they never even existed

"Two months"

Harry had never seen Dumbledore look so forlorn. So broken. He seemed as though his very world was collapsing around him. As though everything had ceased to be important and nothing at all mattered. Harry had never seen his eyes so black with sorrow. Realizing he was expecting a response Harry nodded

"Is there any way… to stop it?" He asked, voice soft and fragile

"Break the connection" Dumbledore answered, voice much like Harry's own. It was as if they thought if no one heard them, this conversation would not really exist. _This_ would not really exist.

"Can that be done?" Harry whispered. If possible Dumbledore looked even more lost than ever before

"I don't know"

Harry nodded. There was nothing else to do. Sure, the headaches had been bad but Harry had never thought they were serious. They had started ever since that day at the Ministry and Harry had assumed it was grief. It wasn't. When Voldemort had possessed Harry he had planted something in his mind. A seed. A poisonous seed. That was slowly but surely killing him. He had two moths left to live

"The only reason you've lasted this long is because you forced Voldemort out of your mind before he could complete the spell. The only way you could survive is if we broke the connection" Dumbledore sighed, seeming very tired "and that would probably kill you"

Harry took that in

"What about Voldemort?" He asked "if I die then no one else can beat him"

"You already beat him. When you shoved him out of your body the spell backfired. You not only infected him with his own seed you planted one of your own. Even if the connection is broken he will die. He knows this. He is frantically researching a way in order to stop it but he will not find one. Therefore he will do anything in his power to keep the connection between you. He is determined that if he is to die, he will bring you down with him."

Harry nodded again. He felt as though that was all he had been doing

"Will it be quick?" He asked distantly

"I'm afraid not. You'll go into a coma first, and it's possible your dreams will not be pleasant" Dumbledore said softly, as though he was only telling the truth because he knew he must

Harry paused for a moment

"Does any one else know?" He asked and Dumbledore shook his head. Harry looked him directly in the eyes "Don't tell them? I don't think I could stand it"

Dumbledore nodded slowly. Harry, with a detached sort of feeling, could not help but think the movement was becoming a little repetitive. Without waiting to be told Harry stood and left. He walked as though soulless until he came upon the Room of Requirement. The room was starkly white and totally bare- like his soul

Harry never cried. He raged, he screamed, he shouted, he complained, he threw things. He never cried. The last time he had cried he had been four years old and he had done so because his uncle had thoroughly beaten him for the first time- before that he was only subjected to hits and smacks.

And so, in that disserted room, for the first time in 12 years, Harry James Potter fell to his knees and wept.

* * *

_Watch the sky fall down_

_

* * *

_  
It was late

Harry did not know exactly what time it was. The concept of time no longer mattered. It was irrelevant. As far as Harry was concerned it no longer existed.

And he was dying

He felt lost. He felt scared. He felt alone

And he was dying

He had spent so long crying. He had no idea how long. Forever, eternity, just a few secret moments

Time did not exist

Harry skipped all his classes that day. They were of no consequence. What did he need classes for? What did he need grades for? He was dying.

Its not hopeless 

Harry was scared. In fact, he did not think he had ever been more terrified in his whole life. Never. Not when he faced Voldemort, not when he first saw a Dementor, not even when he entered the Department of Mysteries.

He had never felt so hopeless

So empty

So lost

And he was dying

When darkness came Harry didn't only embrace it

He sank into it

* * *

_Only in your dreams_

_

* * *

Harry was dreaming. It was white. It wasn't a room; it wasn't even an area… yet it was white. He marveled at that briefly as he walked along feeling strange because he couldn't see the floor. He wondered what was going on and no sooner than he thought that that the room changed. It grew walls. Rock walls. A floor followed shortly afterwards and so did a roof. There was no furniture, no nothing. The room was entirely bare except for a boy, around seventeen years old, who was seated crossed legged in the center on the room, brown eyes focused directly upon him._

"_Hello Harry" The boy greeted softly. Harry had the feeling he knew that voice_

"_Who are you?" He questioned. The boy smiled_

"_Why Harry, don't you recognized me? Perhaps I should be insulted," The boy said with a twisted smile. His memory came stomping violently back_

"_Voldemort" Harry whispered_

"_Well actually, I'm Tom Riddle" The boy corrected breezily_

"_What are you doing here?" Harry asked_

"_I'm here for you. You _have _been told your dying right?" Tom asked as though asking if Harry preferred white or dark chocolate_

"_Come to gloat?" Harry asked coldly_

"_No, I've come to help you" Tom said as though it was obvious_

"_Why would you want to help me?" Harry asked suspiciously_

"_Tom wouldn't yes, but I'm not actually Tom. Nor am I Voldemort. It's supposed to be ironic than when you find out your about to die it's your worst enemy that gives you advice. Of course, you would see Voldemort but he isn't exactly human and therefore cannot appear to you- even as a dream. So I have come. You fear me more than Voldemort anyway," Tom explained with a shrug. Harry frowned_

"_Why would I fear you?" He questioned_

"_Because we're so much alike it scares you," Tom said seriously. Harry fidgeted_

"_But anyway, we're not here to discuss how alike we are. God, Merlin, the fates- whoever you like- have sent me here to talk to you about your apparent upcoming death. Feel privileged by the way, only one person in a thousand gets this sort of talk," Tom said_

"_Apparent upcoming death? Try certain" Harry said bitterly_

"_Oh no, your odds aren't so bad. The connection can be broken. I've no idea how, but it can. All I know is that it will hurt more than anything you've ever experienced- or anyone else has experienced for that matter. I don't envy you at all. You might even be better off dead," Tom said bluntly_

"_You're making me feel so much better," Harry said dryly_

"_I'm sure. The point is I have to say one thing- stop moping" Tom said bluntly_

"_Moping?" Harry asked incredulously _

"_Yes, quit the whole _'Woe is me'_ thing. It's getting old remarkably fast. You find out your going to die, and what do you do? You give up. There's Gryffindor courage for you." Tom said sarcastically_

"_What am I supposed to do? I' not exactly thrilled with the situation" Harry protested_

"_Some would consider you lucky. You have no idea how many people have a death wish. Anyway, that's not the point. Your supposed to spend the last two months you have living" Tom said. Harry blinked_

"_Living?" Harry asked_

"_Yes. Do all the things you've always wanted to do. Make a list out if you like, I don't care. You've always wanted to get a snake but fear what people will think. People are idiots Harry; get a goddamn snake if you want one! You want to know more about your parents? Go out and talk to people about them! You want to end your family's feud with Snape- end it! _Use_ this time Harry! You have a warning! With most it's just _'Why my chest feels strange, hope that isn't a bad sign!'_" _

_Harry laughed despite himself_

"_I think I get it," He said causing Tom to throw up his arms in relief_

"_Yes, he can be taught!" He said overdramatically _

"_I'm still scared though," Harry admitted. Tom rolled his eyes_

"_Well obviously. You're about to die, fear is natural. Your scared about what comes after. I'll be there though, so don't fret" Tom said more seriously_

"_The image of the future Dark Lord will be there for me when I die. Oh the joy" Harry said dryly_

"_That's the spirit" Tom replied in his Slytherin manner "And do accept your Slytherin side. I know you're scared of being like me but killing a part of your self is not going to achieve anything" Tom instructed_

"_Yes Tom" Harry said in a singsong voice_

"_Good" Tom nodded_

"_Your not so bad you know" Harry told him_

"_Oh, my human counterpart was much worse. Usually I'd have more of a foes personality but considering that the real Tom Riddle has been evil all his life adjustments had to be made. I am what would or could have been but never was. Tom was a vicious, lying, cruel bastard, even at the age of eleven. Such is life" Tom sighed_

"_Yes. Good thing I won't have to put up with it much longer" Harry joked and Tom smiled_

"_Just do me one favor Harry?" Tom asked and Harry nodded. Tom smiled appearing exasperated_

"_Try to stay out of trouble"_

_

* * *

_

_Another shinning day is here_

_

* * *

_  
Harry awoke feeling disorientated. He was slightly surprised to find himself in the room of requirement but then his memory came rushing back and he sunk against the wall.

"_Sulking Harry?"_ Asked a voice in his head, sounding remarkably like Tom Riddle. Harry frowned, annoyed that his conscious had decided to have a personality change. He bowed to it nonetheless. It was right, after all. He was sulking.

Determined Harry pulled out a piece of Parchment

'_Things To Do List:_

_- Get a snake. Poisonous would be preferred. May as well have something that can protect me should I be threatened _

_- Set a meeting with Remus Lupin and ask every single question about my parents that I can think of_

_- Get Ron and Hermione together. May as well have them happy when I go._

_- Perform a potion correctly down to the last ingredient just so I can see Snape's face_

_- Reconcile with Snape. Good luck with that one._

_- Reconcile with Malfoy. I'd rather have as few enemies as possible when I die._

_- Sit Cho down and tell her everything I know about Cedric just to make peace. Make sure she knows I'm no longer interested_

_- Go to the kitchens and have a whole meal composed entirely of my favorite things_

_- Buy something for Dobby, just for old times sake._

_- Send the Dursley's a howler. _

_- Go to St. Mugo's. I know you wanted to be anonymous but some things are simply not meant to be. You can help those people, so do it and the media can go to hell._

_- Clear Sirius' name. He deserves it_

_- Write everyone I care for a farewell letter_

_- Visit my parent's grave and my childhood home._

_- Enjoy every single moment I can. No fighting, no yelling, no sulking and anger. Sometimes it's just not worth it'_

Harry looked at the list and sighed. Looked like he had his work cut out for him. Deciding to get started right away Harry straightened his robes and left the room. He should start with something easy. Cho Chang was lucky number one.

* * *

_Say it to hear it, to know it, to feel it_

_

* * *

_  
Harry supposed that not only would Hermione and Ron be furious at him for disappearing they would be extremely worried and demand to know where the hell he had been the moment they laid eyes on him. Not looking at all forward to that conversation Harry opted to avoid them so he could think up a suitable lie. After all, he couldn't exactly tell them in truth

'I was in the room of requirements crying my eyes out 'cause I'm going to kick it in a couple of months. Not to worry though, Tom Riddle snapped me out of it!'

Harry wondered with a faint smile how they would react to that.

Knowing that Hermione and Ron had potions and, therefore, would be a slightly late to lunch because, of course, not only did Snape keep them back but it was quite a long walk from the dungeons to the Great Hall. Therefore, Harry entered and headed straight for the Ravenclaw table without so much as a pause. Cho, to his relief, was already there and he approached her.

"I would like to speak to you please" He told her politely. She gave him a puzzled look

"Can it wait?" She asked, looking briefly at her untouched meal

"No" Harry answered, "It cannot"

With a sigh she got to her feet and followed him obediently out of the Great Hall and Harry took her into an empty classroom making sure to lock and ward the doors heavily. He turned to Cho who was looking slightly nervous and gave her a small smile as he took a seat, indicating that she should join him. She did so

"What's this about?" She asked hesitantly, anxiously flicking her hair from her eyes

"Cedric" Harry said and she immediately tensed

"What about him?" She asked, voice wavering

"I'm going to tell you anything you wish to know about what happened. Anything at all as long as you swear to me that it will never leave this room," Harry told her seriously

"I swear" Cho said solemnly

"What do you want to know?" Harry asked, and Cho bit her lip

"Did he suffer?" She asked softly

"No" Harry said gently "It was quick, brief and painless. The Killing Curse"

"Did You-Know-Who kill him?" She asked, seeming more confident

"No. A follower of his did. It was, however, done on Voldemort's command," Harry said

"Could you have saved him in any way?" Cho whispered. Harry closed his eyes briefly

"I could have told him not to take the cup." He answered

"But then you wouldn't be a Gryffindor. It's in your nature to share. If that's your only answer than you could not have done a thing" Cho said

"You knew that" Harry pointed out "Why ask?"

"Sometimes one must hear it for themselves. I gather that's what this talk if for. Closure. Thank you Harry. You've no idea how much I needed that" Cho said softly

"I know we shall never engage in anything romantic but if ever you need a friend I'll be there for you for as long as I am able," Harry told her softly. She smiled

"I know" Cho whispered, a single tear escaping down her left cheek. With a soft nod she stood and left. Harry breathed a deep, tired sigh as he slowly took out the list and crossed out the task.

If every point was this draining he'd be dead in a week from emotional exhaustion

* * *

_**TBC...**_

* * *


	2. Curious Companions

**Summery-** The point of building a house of cards is to see it reach the sky before it tumbles into ruin. Sometimes all you need is a little motivation and a touch of fate to do what you always wished to do. Harry gets some startling news and decides that its time to put his life into order. Armed only with a voice in his head that sounds remarkably like Tom Riddle, and a _'To Do'_ list Harry sets out to set the pieces in place.

Incudes sadness, determination, betrayal by one thought an angel and love by one thought a demon. A bittersweet story that shows you how love, in all its purity, can solve almost anything, that some things last through life, death and whatever the hell follows afterwards- that the point of the cards is not to fall, but to touch the sky...

**Parings-** Hermione/Ron and (if you really, really squint) implied Ginny/Draco. No pairings for Harry and the two listed are simply background pairings. Harry is the main character- his pov and all

**Warnings-** Spoilers for all but the latest book. This is Harry's sixth year.

**A/N-** Hello everyone, here's anther chapter and more proof that this really is my story. I really hope you like it and remember all- read and review!

-Nat rulz

_Have you met my dearest friend?  
Go on, do shake hands  
I am sure you won't find one like him  
If you searched through all the lands  
If you need a shoulder  
If you need some laughter  
If you need to blow some steam  
And not feel guilty after  
Then, he, mark me, is your man  
Through every death on earth  
And you'll see, a real true friend  
If the most precious thing on earth_

**Chapter Two: Curious Companions**

Harry could not help thinking he had seen the Headmaster's office far too often for his liking. Dumbledore was looking more weary and drained than ever

"More bad news I'm afraid Harry" He said sadly

"With all do respect, sir, it can't be as bad as the other news" Harry said logically

"The Dursley's were attacked," He said

Harry froze and felt an overwhelming surge of nothingness

"And?" He asked

"They're dead" Dumbledore admitted his voice a faint whisper in the tense office

"Oh" Harry said feeling as though he should say something more than that

"Voldemort seemed to think that killing them would hurt you" Dumbledore said

"_I thought he'd be more clever than that. It's obvious you hate your relatives," _The Tom voice of reason (that Harry thought was his inner Slytherin) said

"If you'd like more time off classes you have it. I'm afraid this will make the media," Dumbledore said

"No… it's alright. We can say that this is why I took the days off before. I've missed too many classes," Harry said slowly

"You are sure Harry? If you don't mind me saying your taking this rather calmly," Dumbledore said, clearly unsettled

"With all do respect these are the people who beat me, teased me and locked me in cupboards. They loathed me horribly and took every chance they got to prove it. Although it's sad that I have now no family left I find it difficult to mourn their passing" Harry said simply.

"I'm so sorry my boy. I will stop the Prophet from naming any dates so that your missed classes do not seem suspicious," Dumbledore said, looking more tired than ever

Harry simply nodded and left mentally crossing the _'send the Dursley's a howler'_ task off his list

* * *

_Lies can bruise but truths can scar_

_

* * *

_  
"_**Harry James Potter!"**_

Harry sighed and turned, coming face to face with Hermione Granger who had her hands on her hips and was scowling forcefully

"Where on earth have you been? You missed all your classes yesterday and half of them today! What is going on?" She demanded

"The Dursley's were killed" Harry said bluntly. Hermione's frown immediately dropped and she gasped

"Oh… Harry! I'm so sorry! You must think me awful!" She cried throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace. Harry reveled in it slightly, clutching her close

"I'm not sad. I feel nothing. They were my only family and I can't even mourn their passing. Does that make me a bad person?" Harry asked softly. Hermione clutched him tighter

"To be perfectly honest I don't blame you. They were horrible people. At least you'll never go back there again." Hermione whispered eventually

"_She's quite smart for a muggle born"_ Tom commented

"Where's Ron?" Harry asked her, pulling away

"Professor Snape kept him back. He made a total mess of his potion and blew up half the room" Hermione sighed, rolling her eyes. Harry smiled softly and Hermione looked at him a little oddly

"You sure your okay?" She asked cautiously, touching his shoulder as a sign of support and concern

"Yes" Harry said simply, "I'm fine"

"_Liar"_ Chuckled Tom

* * *

_True friends should be few but good_

_

* * *

_  
It was still quite dark in the early morning and the Forbidden Forest looked incredibly foreboding yet Harry didn't hesitate as he stepped inside. He wasn't sure exactly what he was doing; all he knew was that he wanted a snake and the forest seemed the most sensible place to try… well sensible if you don't fear werewolves, giant spiders, centaurs and a whole variety of pointy and venomous things. Which Harry didn't. Not at all.

Well… maybe just a touch

"_Couldn't you have just _bought_ a snake? It's not like you can't afford it,"_ Tom complained

But he didn't want to just buy one. He wanted a free one so that when he died the snake could simply return to the wild. If he bought an already tame one it wouldn't be able to fend for itself

_/Hello/_ Harry hissed out as loudly as he could

There was no answer. With a resigned sigh Harry walked further into the forest hissing at regular intervals. Finally he heard an answer

_/Who's there/ _

Harry froze

_/Hello/_ he whispered uncertainly

A snake came forward, an odd emerald green in colour. It looked at him oddly when it saw he was human

_/Yes/_ the snake asked uncertainly

_/I'm lost/_ Harry told the snake, realizing that it was true _/Could you help me out please/_

The snake hesitated briefly

_/Alright/_ it agreed

Harry bent down and the snake coiled around his arm. In this manner the snake slowly gave directions to lead Harry out of the forest. Soon enough the castle was in view. Harry sighed

_/Thank you/_ he told the snake

_/What were you dong in the forest anyway/_ the snake questioned

_/Looking for a snake actually. I'm dying soon you see, and I would like someone to keep me company/_ Harry admitted

_/Dying/_ The snake asked, puzzled _/Aren't you a little young/_

_/Apparently not/_ Harry said, shrugging

_/I'll keep you company Snake Child/_ the snake offered

_/You're certain/_ Harry asked

_/Of course./_ the snake said

_/What's your name/_ Harry asked

_/Emerald Fire/_ replied the snake

_/I'm Harry Potter/_ Harry said

_/Nice to meet you/_ responded Emerald

"_You meet the oddest people"_ Tom commented dryly

Harry had to agree

* * *

_Sanity is a matter of opinion_

_

* * *

_  
"Harry, mate, you do realize there's a snake wrapped around your arm right?" Ron asked, looking nervously at said snake

"_Smart chap this one"_ Tom said dryly. Harry smiled

"Yes Ron, I'm quite aware of that" Harry said

"What's it doing there exactly?" Ron asked

"Keeping me company" Harry replied

"You have a very odd choice of companions," Hermione said, coming out of her shock

"I think you two prove that" Harry agreed. Ron snorted

"It's probably venomous" Hermione pointed out

"It won't bite anyone unless I tell it too," Harry said simply

"Your mad mate" Ron said, shaking his head

"That" Harry said with a smile "Is a matter of opinion"

* * *

_A rose by any other name_

_

* * *

/What do you want _flowers _for/_

The question, given by Emerald, was a fair enough one to ask.

_/For Hermione/_ Harry told his companion _/when a boy likes a girl it's customary to give her flowers/_

_/You like her then/_ Emerald questioned

_/No. I want to make Ron jealous/_ Harry said simply

_/Why/_ Emerald asked bluntly

_/Because then he might actually confess his feelings to Hermione/ _Harry explained _/and they could get together/_

_/I think I understand/_ Emerald said slowly _/I remember seeing some flowers in the forest that were quite pretty. I could show you if you like/_

_/That would be wonderful./_ Harry said gratefully.

When he had snuck out of his room he had truthfully not really known how to go about getting some flowers. He had thought to perhaps send an owl to a few stores in Hogsmeade asking if they sold them but that meant having to wait till the next Hogsmeade weekend to buy them and pick them up and that could be months from now, for all Harry knew. So, for the second night in a row Harry headed to the forest.

With Emerald giving him directions Harry made his way through the forest with as little noise as he was able. Didn't want to attract anything sinister after all. His line of thought was effectively cut off by their arrival to the flowers. Harry gasped

"_Pretty was an understatement,"_ Tom whispered

Harry agreed. There, directly ahead of him, was a bush full of the most beautiful roses Harry had ever seen, each one looking as though it had been carved from stone, each one the deepest shade of red and each one glistening softly where the waxing moon hit it's petals.

Harry picked a single rose then, after only a moments hesitation, picked another

_/Only two/_ Emerald asked

_/I'm only giving her one of them actually. Girls are weird like that, preferring one rose to a dozen. Getting too many can be seen as showing off. A single rose sometimes says more than a thousand ever could/_ Harry said holding the roses gently to avoid the thorns

_/Why pick two then/ _Emerald questioned

_/Well as I'll probably never come here again I may as well take one for myself. I've never seen such beautiful roses after all/_ Harry said, a touch defensively

If snakes could shrug Harry had the impression that Emerald would have done so. Instead she merely began to direct him back to the castle, eyeing the roses a little oddly as though she could not understand what all the fuss was about.

Far behind them the rose bush was surrounded by a rosy glow as two single flowers simultaneously grew from broken stems, spreading their petals slowly in the moonlight.

* * *

_Love is magic at it's finest_

_

* * *

_  
Harry kept shooting glances at the windows, anxiously waiting for the mail to arrive. Hermione and Ron were bickering amicably about something or other and Harry simply could not wait until Hermione received her rose (his own already stored safely in his trunk with a well anchored preservation spell attached).

Finally the sound of wings came, signaling the coming of the post. Almost as a second reaction practically everyone looked up eagerly, checking if they had any post. The large brown owl swooping down with a single rose clenched in its talons was noticed immediately and the vast majority of the girls sighed an overdramatic sigh and wondered enviously who it was for. The look on Hermione's face, Harry thought, was absolutely priceless. Then she lit up brighter than a Christmas tree.

"Ohhh" She cooed taking the rose gently from the bird and admiring it

"Who's it from?" Harry asked, keeping his voice curious

"There's no note," Hermione said; lifting the flower and taking a long, deep sniff. The rose suddenly glowed

"And it's a magical rose too! Those are really rare" Hermione said in awe

"Magical?" Harry said blankly

"Yes, there known for doing different things. I believe there's a species of enchanted rose that will curse the giver with bad luck in love for the rest of their life" Hermione said as the red glow gave her face a slightly eerie look. Harry hoped that this kind of rose was not that certain species and resolved to look it up as soon as he was able.

"It might be cursed!" Ron cried, jealousy written clearly on his face

"Oh I doubt it. I'd know straight away. It's definitely done something though," Hermione said giving Ron a very odd look under which Ron fidgeted

She suddenly scooted closer to him

"Smell?" She offered, eyes strangely glassy. Hesitating only slightly Ron did so, taking a deep breath in. The rose once again began to glow and a red thread of light wove its way around the two, but they seemed oddly oblivious to it. Ron's eyes suddenly glazed over and he gave Hermione a long worshipping look

"You're so beautiful," he whispered and Hermione giggled softly as she leaned her head closer as if inviting Ron. Ron took the invitation and ducked his head, capturing her lips with his in a long kiss. Harry stared numbly and mentally crossing yet another task off his list

"_Well"_ Commented a stunned Tom _"That was easy"_

_

* * *

_

_Some things are better left unknown_

_

* * *

_  
"Lets see, enchanted roses, enchanted roses… ah! Here we are! Roses" Harry cried finally coming across what he was looking for in the text _'Magical Flowers and Their Properties'_.

After all, whatever the rose had been had clearly affected his two friends (who were currently in the Great Hall staring lovingly at each other rather than eating lunch) and he wanted to know how long it would last and if there would be any ill effects. The section on roses held quite a number of colours and eventually Harry settled on _'Deepest Red'_ to be an accurate description of the colour. The passage said as follows

'_Probably one of the rarest of all the roses one must be extremely lucky to stumble across this specimen. Known throughout the wizarding world as the _'Soul Finder'_ this flower makes the smeller feel an undeniable pull towards their soul mate. At first, the compulsion is strong, forcing the two together but as the day moves on it's effect will very slowly wear off. As the two are already soul mates all the flowers do is take away their focus on anything else but their mate. When the spell ends the feelings will still be there, their relationship hopefully still initiated but their knowledge of what else is going on in the world will return. The strength of the spell depends on how long a sniff they take of the flower and how stubbornly the smeller is denying their feelings. It can be anything from a soft fire to a roaring, desperate need'_

Harry stopped. Soul mates. Harry had always hoped that such a thing existed and now the very means to find his lay in a trunk at the end of his bed to use when he wished. Then he remembered he was dying and it would be awfully unfair to his mate if he initiated a relationship only to drop dead. And Harry didn't think he could take the idea of knowing whom his perfect match was while knowing that it couldn't last

Some things are better left unknown

* * *

_Mind over matter_

_

* * *

_

Harry had never actually appreciated how absolutely and totally dull his potions text was. Of course, it might have something to do with the fact he was reading it for the third time now… or was it forth?

He heaved a sigh and flicked his green eyes over to the chair next to his where Hermione and Ron were still slightly out of it, staring at each other and kissing every now and then as the flames from the Gryffindor fire lit up their faces, giving them an ethereal glow. Their eyes seemed slightly clearer and Harry hoped that Hermione never discovered who sent the flower. She would probably kill him considering she had not done any of her homework seeing as the outside world was currently inconsequential to her. Maybe he should do her a favor and complete it for her.

With a resigned sigh he pulled Hermione and Ron's bags over and took out their books

"_Your far too nice"_ Tom said as Harry observed the multiple amount of work he had to do

Harry was inclined to agree

* * *

_As easy as cooking_

_

* * *

_

"You are without a doubt the absolute and best friend that has ever lived in the history of the world" Ron gushed when Harry handed over his completed homework that morning at breakfast

"I'll remember you said that when I decide to make you pay me back," Harry said dryly

"It's excellent Harry! How did you get it done in my writing?" Hermione asked, amazed

"A lot of practice. I've always been good at copying people's writing. I suppose it comes from having to forge the Dursley's signature so many times on school forms and such," Harry said with a shrug

"I couldn't believe it when I woke up and realized I hadn't completed my homework! Thanks so much! You even did my Arithmacy work" Hermione said happily

"That was slightly difficult" Harry admitted, feeling more tired just remembering it "Especially since I don't do Arithmacy. I had to do all this backup research."

"Speaking of difficult if we don't get going we'll be late to potions," Ron said, stuffing his homework into his bad and getting to his feet. Harry followed his lead

_/Are they happy master/_ Emerald hissed from the opening of his sleeve

_/Very. And it's Harry thank you. I'd rather not be anyone's master/_ Harry told the snake, slightly exasperated at the title

"Tell me again why you carry that thing around?" Ron asked nervously

"Because the point of having a companion is that you can talk to them. How can I talk to Emerald if I don't take her with me?" Harry said logically, petting Emeralds head lightly while she hissed softly in pleasure

"Its scary" Ron protested weakly

"Your just sour because she happens to be the Slytherin emblem. Besides, what's the point of being able to talk to snakes if I don't have a snake?" Harry asked

"As long as it doesn't bite me I'm fine with it" Hermione said simply as they entered the dungeon

"She'll bite no one unless I tell her to" Harry said firmly

"Have her bite Malfoy" Ron said, a sudden grin splitting his face

"Ron! She's poisonous!" Harry cried in mock sternness

"Surely the Mudblood's not so bad" A cold voice drawled. Ron's face darkened as Draco Malfoy stepped up from behind them

"Actually I was talking about Emerald" Harry said politely, mindful of the fact that he wanted to initiate a truce

"Your imaginary friend?" Draco asked coldly

Emerald hissed protectively, sensing the fact that Malfoy had ill intentions towards her companion

_/Can I bite him/_ She asked eagerly. Harry laughed, causing Draco to pause in confusion

_/Better not/_ He told her _/you'd only get me in trouble/_

Draco looked stunned

"Is that a _snake_?" He asked in shock

"No, it's a raccoon" Harry said dryly, letting Tom dictate his words slightly. Ron snorted

"Is that allowed?" He asked, ignoring the sarcasm

"In truth I don't think the school's ever been in this type of situation… unless you count Tom Riddle and he certainly didn't have any pet snakes… unless you count the basilisk of course." Harry answered, almost absently

Draco stared, looking slightly at loss on what to say to that but he was saved the need when Snape entered causing the last few people standing to scurry to their seats. Harry purposely took one away from Hermione and Ron and took a seat that was as close to the front he could get. It turned out to be in the front row

"_Talk about suicidal tendencies"_ Tom said dryly but Harry ignored him. He was going to perform the potion perfectly and Snape would have no grounds to accuse him of cheating

"Today we shall be brewing _'The Breath of Life'_, one of the most powerful healing potions there is and also one of the most complicated. Instructions are on the board. You may begin" Snape said in that blunt manner of his

Harry got out his cauldron and ingredients and lit the fire to begin boiling the water

_/May I bask/_ Emerald asked. Harry looked up to see Snape was over at the other side of the room. Knowing that absorbing heat was vital for snakes Harry relented

_/Very well, but mind the ingredients/_ he said lowering his hand as Emerald slithered down and coiled up near the fire. Harry began to patiently and slowly make the potion, referring very carefully to the listed ingredients.

Having spent fifteen years cooking for the Dursley's Harry had become a rather skilled cook. For example, if it was expected of him he could create a five star meal with only limited ingredients. There were, however, rules in cooking. Little things that effected the outcome: always grease and flour the bowls, always add the right measurement of ingredients, work off smell and texture to see if the thickness was correct and so on. Potions, to Harry's surprise, were a hell of a lot like that. He wondered fleetingly why he had never noticed.

When he came to one of the last ingredients Harry hesitated. The board said he should add beetle wigs then stir counterclockwise. Harry was almost certain that he had to crush the beetle wings and stir clockwise to compensate for the juices that crushing the wings created.

Figuring he had nothing to loose as another ruined potion would not be anything special, Harry followed his instincts and crushed the wings into a fine powder before adding them. He stirred the brew seven times in the clockwise direction. The potion turned the colour of blood. Harry added the rest of the ingredients and it turned from red to pitch black. He left it to simmer.

"_Bubble bubble, toil and trouble"_ Tom whispered as the cauldron bubbled, looking like boiling tar

"You should now be close to finishing your potion, providing you haven't already stuffed it up" Said Snape giving all the Gryffindor's a pointed look "Your potion should be black. Those of you with any common sense would have realized that the beetle wings had to be crushed and that would cause the potion to be stirred clockwise. I will award ten points to anyone who has done it correctly"

Harry doubted this but said nothing as Snape started on the other side of the room. By his soft muttering Harry could tell that no one in Slytherin had gotten the potion correct- not even Draco Malfoy. He started on the Gryffindor side, this time adding in the expected insults. Harry, being at the front, was the last person he checked.

The look on his face when he looked at the potion was everything Harry could have hoped for and he smugly crossed another task off his list. Snape looked at loss at what to say for several moments and Harry, realizing he had stunned Snape speechless, put another line through his task.

"I would like to point out, before you accuse me of cheating, that everyone else did the potion incorrectly" Harry said politely when Snape looked as though he would say something

"How in Merlin's name did you know to crush the beetle wings?" Snape asked coldly, but sounding a little too surprised to totally pull it off

"Well to combat the bat eyes and the flea legs the beetle wings had to be a powder or it wouldn't react as well. You have to crush it into the powder to create the small amount of juice and to combat that it would have to be stirred clockwise so the ingredients mixed correctly" Harry said. Snape stared and sneered

"It seems Potter's are prone to dumb luck," He said coldly. Harry sighed inwardly

"Sir what's my name?" He asked, deciding to be daring

"Potter" Snape said after a moment, clearly caught off guard "I thought you were at least intelligent enough to know that"

Emerald hissed at the insult but Harry hushed her

"I meant what's my first name?" Harry replied, ignoring the insult. Snape paused, obviously looking for a trap while eyeing the snake in a slightly wary fashion

"Harry" He answered as though the word was poison

"That's funny" Harry commented softly so only Snape could hear him "You'll notice that sounds nothing at all like James"

Snape's eyes flashed

"Detention for your disrespect. Tonight, 9:00" Snape said coldly

Harry didn't mind though. He would end the feud if it killed him

After all, he was dying anyways.

* * *

_**TBC...**_

* * *


	3. The Meaning of Abuse

**Summery-** The point of building a house of cards is to see it reach the sky before it tumbles into ruin. Sometimes all you need is a little motivation and a touch of fate to do what you always wished to do. Harry gets some startling news and decides that its time to put his life into order. Armed only with a voice in his head that sounds remarkably like Tom Riddle, and a _'To Do'_ list Harry sets out to set the pieces in place.

Incudes sadness, determination, betrayal by one thought an angel and love by one thought a demon. A bittersweet story that shows you how love, in all its purity, can solve almost anything, that some things last through life, death and whatever the hell follows afterwards- that the point of the cards is not to fall, but to touch the sky...

**Parings-** Hermione/Ron and (if you really, really squint) implied Ginny/Draco. No pairings for Harry and the two listed are simply background pairings. Harry is the main character- his pov and all

**Warnings-** Spoilers for all but the latest book. This is Harry's sixth year.

**A/N-** Hello everyone, here's anther chapter. Hopefully I'll get more reviews. To be perfectly honest if I didn't like this story so much I might discontinue it. Oh well, read and review and enjoy the chapter!

-Nat rulz

_It was not like it was all so bad  
I'm sure some have it worse  
I grew up with such treatment  
As though I was a curse  
When it's all I've ever known  
How can I call it wrong?  
How do I know what is _'too far'_  
Looking at the home that I came from?  
So what, my friend, crosses the line?  
What puts them in a noose?  
And what, can anyone explain  
Is the meaning of abuse?_

**Chapter Three: The Meaning of Abuse**

"Mr. Harry Potter sir!"

Dobby was one person Harry knew who would always be ecstatic to see him. He smiled brightly at him making Dobby even happier as he basked in his affection

"I was wondering if you could do me a favor Dobby?" Harry asked kindly. Dobby bounced on his heels in excitement

"Anything Mr. Harry Potter! Anything at all!" He cried

"I was wondering if you could make me a special lunch? You see… I've never been allowed to eat whatever I want and I was wondering if you would mind cooking up a few of my favorite things?"

Dobby absolutely exploded with happiness and demanded that Harry list all his favorite foods straight away so he could make it right that second. Harry, with a fond smile for the little elf, proceeded to do so.

Half an hour later Harry was presented with a whole table of things: Lasagna, chocolate moose, pizza, hot chocolate, apple pie, cheese cake and even a few things Harry hadn't listed

"I didn't expect you to make it all Dobby" Harry said, exasperated "I didn't want to be a bother"

Dobby looked mortified that he could possibly be a bother and forcefully sat him down saying firmly that it was no problem and that he was glad to do it- but that he had to get back to work. Harry nodded

"Go ahead Dobby, I'm fine now, thank you," He said making the elf's eyes fill with joyful tears

Harry turned to the piles of food and thought idly as he crossed the task off his list, that perhaps he should have brought Hermione and Ron with him after all.

The swoosh of a door opening and the soft footfalls of feet alerted Harry to another kitchen visitor. He thought that he should invite whomever it was to join him and when he saw it was Draco Malfoy did not change his mind. Draco froze at the site of him

"Good evening Malfoy" Harry said politely, taking a bite of his apple pie.

"Potter" Malfoy greeted warily

"Won't you join me? I'm afraid the house elves got a little carried away" Harry rolled his eyes "You know elves"

Draco hesitated, looking as though he was certain Harry was some sort of imposter

"I promise the food isn't poisoned Malfoy" Harry said dryly "Unfortunately for a number of people I do not have a death wish"

Draco finally sat opposite him and, with a quick glance, took a slice of lasagna

"What is all this Potter? Great Hall food not good enough for you" Draco said snidely

"Oh no, I'm much too spoilt and arrogant for what those commoners eat" Harry said in such a Slytherin manner that Draco looked momentarily stunned. Harry smiled

"I thought as much" Draco replied eventually. Harry rolled his eyes

"Actually I've always wanted to do this. Eat whatever I like. I've never had that freedom you see. I thought it would be nice," Harry said honestly taking another bite of the apple pie and closing his eyes momentarily in pleasure

"The choice not good enough at normal meals?" Draco asked dryly

"Oh its fine, but I don't choose it. I have some choice in regards to what I eat but I never actually get to pick the menu out. I've never even been to a restaurant." Harry paused "I should probably do that one day. I heard they're nice"

"Your doting relatives never take you out?" Draco mocked. Harry, once again, ignored the tone and answered honestly. It was obviously unnerving Draco and Harry found it rather entertaining

"No. They took me to the zoo once, but that's because they had to. And if you don't mind me saying so, Malfoy, you have a very odd opinion on what _'doting'_ means" Harry said calmly

Draco rose an eyebrow at that

"Your not going to tell me they abused you are you?" He said sarcastically

"Depends on how you define abuse" Harry said after a moment's hesitation. Draco seemed to actually consider that

"Abuse would be starvation, imprisonment, perhaps forced slavery and emotional and physical abuse. And I don't mean a soft smack as discipline or calling you an idiot, I mean actual beatings and insulting language" He said slowly

Harry paused. He knew what the Dursley's did to him was bad but… well… he was used to it. It wasn't really _abuse_…

"Well I was definitely starved. Never wonder why I was so thin? I slept in a cupboard under the stairs and they locked me in there for weeks at a time… but that may not count as imprisonment. They gave me an impossible amount of chores and demanded I complete them all within a time frame, but that isn't really slavery. They never called me by name, referring to me as _'freak'_ and _'boy'_ but that wasn't so bad and the beatings were not too terrible. I had to wear long sleeves all the time but they never broke anything… only fractured a few things and gave me a few scars. I don't know if that really counts as a beating" Harry said slowly. Draco stared

"Your serious" He said after a moment, clearly surprised

"It's not that bad… I grew up with it I…" Harry sighed "I knew there was a reason I don't talk about my home life with anyone. Everyone reacts so badly. Melodramatic, the lot of you"

"Then why tell me?" Draco asked

"Because everyone will find out soon enough anyway. Unfortunately, it's making the papers" Harry sighed

"Why?" Draco questioned

"Oh, they died. Killed actually. Voldemort seemed to think it would hurt me. That means a whole bunch of reporters will be looking into my life there. They're bound to find something" Harry shrugged and Draco flinched at the name

"How'd you take your relative's death?" He asked, sounding genuinely interested

"Oh I was crushed" Harry said dryly "Absolutely crushed"

Draco actually smirked

"So why are you being civil?" Draco asked airily, as though he didn't care

"Because it's time we put childish grudges behind us. I'm offering you a truce Malfoy. You don't have to take it and should you wish it, we'll go back to how we once were. The truce can go as far as you like. We can simply be civil, we can converse, and we can even be friends if you wish it. The choice is yours" Harry said holding out his hand

There was a long, slightly tense silence where Draco looked at this sudden proposition from every angle

"I'll accept the truce," He said finally as he took the hand "I'll be civil. We'll see where we go from there"

For Harry that was more than enough and he smiled as he mentally crossed another task off his list.

* * *

_What qualifies as detention these days_

_

* * *

_

It was dark

Harry didn't mind. It was always dark

"_What an entirely Slytherin thing to think"_ Tom whispered, voice soft from the recess of Harry's mind as he traveled to the dungeons

Harry both hated and loved the dungeons

Hated, because this was the house of his enemies, where all his most dangerous foes originated, where he was loathed and humiliated and sneered at because of a title he eared by doing something he couldn't even remember

Loved because it was cool and soft and soothing and it's strange stone corridors seemed to call and reassure him, despite what he did to deny it. He supposed this feeling of contentment was part of what the Sorting Hat meant when it said he'd do well in Slytherin.

In the Gryffindor domain he felt cheerful and happy and loved and accepted. In the Slytherin domain he felt peaceful, and content and safe and alone. He needed both. He was sometimes torn between them. He only now realized the impact of it- because he finally accepted that he had some part of Slytherin in him and no amount of denial would change that.

But these, Harry reminded himself, were not the type of thoughts one should be having on the way to detention with the Potions Master. Indeed, perhaps the knowledge of his upcoming death should be comforting this night

"_If you do anything remarkably stupid, you'll likely not have to live with it for much longer"_ Tom said, by way of agreement

Harry knocked at the potions classroom

"Enter" Came the static reply. Harry sighed in resignation as he opened the door and entered the classroom

"Actually on time for once I see" Snape said coldly

Harry decided, after a moment's silence, that it wasn't worth the effort to comment on that

"You'll be cleaning the cauldrons- without magic," Snape said, giving a twisted smile of glee. Harry never did get how getting him to clean could please Snape. He had to do it all the time at the Dursley's. It was a comfort to know Snape wouldn't beat him for doing a horrible job of it.

With a soft nod Harry got to work

Needless to say he worked a lot more efficiently without the threat of a beating. He didn't think Snape was that cruel

"_Admitting it was abuse then?"_ Tom asked breezily and Harry scowled

His relatives had raised him to believe he was a worthless, meaningless, disgusting freak. Was it his fault he had low self esteem? Was it his fault he believed, at times, that he had deserved it? And worse, in a few days everyone would know. So… what constituted as discipline and how do you cross the line?

"You'd make a decent janitor boy" Snape commented unknowingly mimicking the very words Vernon had once uttered. Throwing caution in the winds (he'd find out anyway) Harry dared to ask his question

"What constitutes as discipline?" Harry asked his professor. Snape seemed momentarily caught of guard

"This does" He said slowly "Assigning punishments for wrongs committed"

Harry thought about that as he continued to clean

"If I had a lisp, one I could not help, would it be discipline to punish me for it?" Harry asked using a lisp as a metaphor for his magic

"Of course not, it'd be plain stupid to punish you for something you had no control over" Snape snapped

"And yet" Harry whispered, not really thinking "Everyone insists on punishing me for the faults of my parents"

There was a drawn out silence after that

"I doubt I would constitute as everyone Mr. Potter" Snape said coldly

"No. You don't. When is it acceptable to hit a child?" Harry asked, changing the subject

"Never" Came the slightly stunned reply "Unless the child has done something extremely unacceptable and in that case it would not be too hard nor too numerous"

Harry thought on that as well. His… beatings… were both hard and numerous… so was that abuse? Even in times when the Dursley's had been punishing him, had they crossed the line by resorting to physical violence?

Harry set aside another cauldron and Snape stared at it

"Your positive you're not using magic?" He questioned, looking at how it shone

"Yes. I'm simply experienced. My relatives make me do chores all the time" Harry answered lightly

"Is this why all the questions on child abuse? You were forced to do chores?" Snape sneered

"No" Harry said honestly "But I've been treated a certain way my entire life. It's hard to know whether or not it's acceptable and whether I deserved it" Harry frowned "I have not heard anything to support the fact I did"

Harry sighed, unconscious of his teacher's curious gaze

"And it'll be in the papers any day now. Ron and Hermione will kill me. What am I supposed to say? That locking a child in a cupboard after smacking it around with a persistent fist was a normal occurrence and not to be bothered with?" He whispered to himself. He looked at his teacher who looked slightly stunned and suddenly felt very weary, that Dark Seed in his mind suddenly draining all his energy

"I hate to disappoint you but you are not the first who has loathed me for my parentage" Harry scowled slightly, loosing his composure completely "Worthless boy. Idiot child. Stupid freak. No better than your drunk, brainless father and his whore of a wife. Not wanted, not needed, not cared for. Scum on the bottom of the lowliest peasants shoe"

Harry's head began to throb and he thought he'd probably regret this in the morning

"It'll no doubt be in the papers tomorrow sir. If nothing else I hope it makes people like you see why I find your opinion of spoilt and arrogant to be slightly warped" Harry said clearly

The rest of the detention was spent in a tense silence

* * *

_Believe everything you read_

_

* * *

_

Harry knew the moment he entered the Great Hall it had happened. Everyone froze and a thousand pair of eyes looked in his direction. Harry stopped dead and then, with by sheer power of will, walked to the Gryffindor table and picked up a copy of the _'Daily Prophet'_. The headline screamed at him for attention

"**The Boy Who Was…. Abused?"**

Harry took a deep breath and, holding the paper to his chest vowed that he wouldn't run away from this. He had never run from anything and he wouldn't run now.

Instead, he walked

Very calmly, very slowly, with his head raised and trying to ignore the fact that his hands were shaking. He wanted to be alone. He wanted peace and comfort and a soothing presence.

So he headed to the dungeons

He would never really know why he chose a classroom so close to Professor Snape's office. Perhaps he really did have a death wish. All he knew was that stone surrounded him, and the musty smell of aging and the cool air of being underground. He sighed, feeling himself immediately relax. Then he turned to the newspaper.

'_It has recently come to our attention that mere days ago the entire Dursley's family was killed by You-Know-Who. It is not very common knowledge that the family, once residing at 4 Privet Drive, were the only remaining family of Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived. We took this opportunity to investigate Harry's home life. Nothing has ever been dislodged about it and it had been rumored that Harry disliked them. We were determined to discover if this were true, and if so, why._

_What we found was horrifying _

_It is a well-known fact that one can learn a lot about someone from his or her room. With this in mind we preformed a spell to lead us to the room young Harry had spent the most time in. it lead us to the cupboard under the stairs. Holding only a bed better fitting a dog than a human, our age spells indicated that young Harry spent approximately ten years in that room. The more complex of time spells revealed he was shut in there for sometimes weeks at a time._

_Another room that Harry spent at least five years in was a second bedroom. The fact that the house had a second bedroom and yet Harry was expected to sleep in a cupboard was not at all reassuring. What caused the most outrage, however, were the numerous locks on his- five of them to be exact. A cat flap (a small door used for cats) was also attached to the door and it took numerous very complicated spells to discover this was used for food exchange._

_Finding out if there was actual physical abuse was a little harder. After many complicated spells and enchanting the walls to talk we discovered that the abuse was perhaps the worse of the lot. Harry was beaten constantly, mainly for not completing chores that one would not expect a thirty year old to complete in time, let alone a seventeen-year-old child. Harry was degraded, harassed and constantly called a _'freak'_ because of his magical gifts. His family told anyone who asked that he attended a criminal center for incurable criminal boys and that he was 'mentally disturbed'_

"_He was a quiet boy" Said a street resident "Despite everything said about him I never saw him do a thing to hurt anyone- in fact he once rescued my son from that horrible cousin of his. He always did seem a little lonely but also as though he was used to it. It was as if he carried the world on his shoulders but refused to so much as complain about it"_

_The treatment goes beyond what any where expecting to find and I can say quite confidently that his so called family should be glad their dead- indeed, many may want to resurrect them just so they have the pleasure of killing them again.'_

Harry threw the paper against the wall in fury and despair. So. Everyone knew now. There was no more pretending. Harry began to rant, to let it all out, to vent his frustration to the walls

"I hate them!" He yelled, "I hate them, I hate them, I _hate_ them!"

The stone cracked and Tom commented softly that perhaps he should have lost control outside

"Their not worth it! None of them are worth it!" Harry felt the tears come and his shoulders began to shake "I don't care, I really don't. They're not worth this. They were horrible and loathsome and the only family I ever knew… but they're not worth it. I'm stronger than that"

Harry smiled a bittersweet smile

"And hey, if not, only two more months left. I can last." He paused "They're not worth it" Another pause "I am stronger than that. Anyone who decides to give me trouble over this" A dangerous smirk "Well, they will find themselves suffering a most painful death"

Emerald hissed in surprise at the statement and Harry rolled his eyes, finding himself relaxing once more as he slumped against the wall

"I wasn't serious. I'd only curse them into oblivion" Harry told the walls as he petted his snake "And besides, they're not worth the trouble"

"That" said a cool, calm voice from the doorway "Is the most intelligent thing I've ever heard you say"

Harry, still slumped against the wall, turned his head to see Professor Snape standing almost casually in the doorway. He entered

"That might be because you never let me say very much, Professor" Harry said calmly. Snape smirked

"Perhaps" He acknowledged as his eyes flickered momentarily to the paper (which for some odd reason had been ripped almost to shreds) "I see you've read the paper"

"Why did you assume you knew me?" Harry asked, ignoring the question "You might not have seen me as The-Boy-Who-Lived, but you're just as bad as the rest of them, seeing an image that was never there. I am not my father, sir, I wish people would remember that"

Snape, for the first time in all the years Harry had know him, looked slightly pained

"I pride myself on being an excellent judge of character" He said and gave a rueful smirk "I hate being proved wrong"

"My relative always said I deserved what I got. That I should have died with my parents. That I was worthless and useless and I should praise them for all they've done for me. Were they right?" Harry questioned softly

"Should you really be asking me this?" Snape questioned, matching his tone

"I know you'll be honest. I trust you. Despite our past you've never lied to me" Harry said simply. There was a long silence

"No" Snape said eventually "They weren't"

Harry smiled

* * *

_Opened wounds, scattered scars_

_

* * *

_

The eyes were inescapable. They followed Harry as fixatedly as a tracking spell. Harry ignored them. He ignored the whispers and the pointed fingers and even the harsh taunts. Ron, Hermione and especially Emerald became very over-protective for the next few days. He expected that Hermione and Ron were slightly hurt that he had never said anything. He knew they wanted to talk. Harry knew he had to talk. He had less than two months left he didn't want to die with any unresolved issues.

So, for perhaps the first time in history, it was Harry who dragged his friends into a deserted classroom rather than the other way around. To say they were surprised would be a vast understatement. They stared at him

"The tension has been so thick lately I could cut it with a feather. Contrary to popular belief I am not made of glass. If I think it's unsuitable or uncomfortable I will not tell you. Now ask" Harry said bluntly

They hesitated

"Why didn't you tell us?" Ron asked eventually

"Honestly? I didn't think to. I told you that I hated them, that I loathed going there, but everything else was inconsequential. You didn't need to know. I didn't want to complain. I think… on some level that I thought I deserved it or that if I told you you'd reject me for it." Harry said, voice breaking near the end

Hermione let out a heartfelt sob and threw her arms around him

"You silly, idiotic fool!" She cried before bursting into tears. Harry clung to her

"I love you, you know" He whispered, suddenly needing to tell them as his head gave a soft, but noticeable throb and he was reminded once more of the festering seed "I love you so much"

Hermione cried even harder

"I love you too," She whispered

Harry looked at Ron and smiled

"You too Ron. You're the best mate anyone could ask for." He said. Ron smiled

"Love you too mate" Ron said awkwardly

"Oh Harry, where will you live?" Hermione suddenly cried

"Well, you know, it's only for the holidays and I hear the streets are really quite comfortable" Harry joked lightly

"You'll have to stay with us mate," Ron said cheerfully

"Thanks Ron, but I couldn't. With Voldemort it's too dangerous" Harry forgave himself for the lie. Voldemort was dying too after all. He wasn't exactly going to say that his family could not afford him and would refuse to let him pay for himself

Ron looked downhearted at that but also looked as though he knew it were true

"I think I'll stay here" Harry said eventually "Safest place in the world and all that"

They both smiled at him, Ron on his left and Hermione on his right as though they thought that if he fell they could catch him- and Harry knew they would. He felt something deep inside him falter very slightly as he saw the love and compassion his friends held for him

He'd miss them

* * *

_The end of the world as we know it_

_

* * *

_

It was in potions that it really, finally and officially happened. The Gryffindor's had been trying (and in most cases, failing) to make the acquired potion without, as Snape would say _'totally botching it up'_. The Slytherin's, of course, were far less concerned as they knew even if they did _'botch it up'_ they would not be punished for it.

Harry, who ever since he had gotten that potion correct seemed to have finally gotten the knack of it, did his potion correctly. Feeling decidedly proud of himself, Harry hadn't even noticed Snape until he was right in front of him, hooked nose peering down into his cauldron.

"Five points to Gryffindor"

Time froze. It was so silent you could here each individual breath as it was drawn. The Slytherin's looked positively scandalized and as though they were seriously considering the fact that their teacher might be mentally ill. The Gryffindor's were still trying to figure out when hell had frozen over and if the world was at last coming to an end. Harry simply stared

"Thank you sir," He said quietly, mind feeling distinctly numb and thinking that the feud had been effectively ended as he firmly crossed another task off his list.

* * *

_Failing to plan is planning to fail_

_

* * *

_

"Back so soon Harry?"

The headmaster gazed at him levelly and Harry offered him a soft smile

"In light of the fact I'll be dead soon, I wish to ask for a couple of favors" Harry said and then he smirked "Not that I'd be able to pay them back, unfortunately"

Dumbledore nodded

"Of course my boy, whatever you wish," He said kindly

"First and foremost I wish to see Remus Lupin. I could use some stories about my parents before I go. I know so little about them. On that note I'd also like to visit my old home and their graves. My last request is that I visit St. Mugo's. There's something I must do there," Harry said

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at that but Harry simply smirked

"I'll arrange for Mr. Lupin to come this weekend and he can take you to your parents home and gravestones. The visit to the hospital will have to wait till next weekend. It will look too suspicious if I let you take any more time off your classes" Dumbledore said eventually and Harry smiled

"Thank you sir," he said

Another three tasks in motion

* * *

_**TBC...**_

* * *


	4. Here Be Monsters

**Summery-** The point of building a house of cards is to see it reach the sky before it tumbles into ruin. Sometimes all you need is a little motivation and a touch of fate to do what you always wished to do. Harry gets some startling news and decides that its time to put his life into order. Armed only with a voice in his head that sounds remarkably like Tom Riddle, and a _'To Do'_ list Harry sets out to set the pieces in place.

Incudes sadness, determination, betrayal by one thought an angel and love by one thought a demon. A bittersweet story that shows you how love, in all its purity, can solve almost anything, that some things last through life, death and whatever the hell follows afterwards- that the point of the cards is not to fall, but to touch the sky...

**Parings-** Hermione/Ron and (if you really, really squint) implied Ginny/Draco. No pairings for Harry and the two listed are simply background pairings. Harry is the main character- his pov and all

**Warnings-** Spoilers for all but the latest book. This is Harry's sixth year.

**A/N-** Another chapter done and ready. A lot of you won't like the twist it takes and I beg your forgiveness but it had to be done. Enjoy and always remember to Read and Review! Not mine, poems are. Neither's this chap title, actually. Got it from a book (but, to be fair, it was used on maps before that to chart unknown land)

-Nat rulz

_Spiders are nothing to me  
Darkness is a dream  
Pain, a sweet long fantasy  
And I shall make you scream  
Do not fear the tumbling cliff  
Fear not the deep river  
For I, in all my glory  
Is what will make you shiver  
Stupid as you are, misguided fool  
I'll never let you win  
You all fear what's without  
When you should what's within  
_

**Chapter Four: Here Be Monsters**

The passageway to Hogsmeade was in definite need of a clean and had Harry had arachnophobia he would have been in a vast amount of trouble indeed. Luckily (or perhaps unluckily, depending on your perspective) the cupboard under the stairs had been full of spiders, so Harry hardly minded them at all.

Although it must be said, the passage was still decidedly uncomfortable

The passage was longer than Harry remembered… but maybe that had something to do with his mood. For some reason Harry was feeling particularly melancholy. Perhaps he could kill two birds with one stone with this trip

"_Killing birds isn't likely to cheer you up,"_ Tom said dryly, also affected by his mood. Harry scowled

Eventually the passageway ended and Harry climbed as gracefully as possible out of the tunnel. Then it was only a matter of sneaking out of the shop and into the street.

The first thing he bought was a pair of socks and ear warmers for Dobby (not matching, of course) and then he head directly to the jeweler. He had never worn any jewelry before and as he entered he went straight to the friendship charms.

Wizarding friendship charms were different than muggle ones. For one thing they lasted as long as the friendship did. For another there was a single pendant with separate chains. In Harry's case he would have to buy one with three. When the three pulled their chain the pendant would split into three smaller replicas each with the person's initials. They could be rejoined to created the whole and spell out a message.

Harry eventually chose a pendent that was an intricately caved golden phoenix. He called the shop tender over and pointed it out

"I'll take that one, please," Harry said politely. The shop tender took it out and held it up to the light, causing it to glint

"Good choice. What would you like the message to be?" He asked

"What's my word limit?" Harry asked

"Unfortunately, just one. It's a small thing. I suggest you pick a meaningful word," The man said, almost apologetically

"Eternity" Harry said eventually

"Eternity?" The man questioned

"Yes. Because that's how long our friendship will last. All eternity. Through life, through death and whatever the hell follows" Harry said firmly

"_How remarkably fitting"_ Tom said softly

It was the best ten gallons Harry had ever spent

_Casual words are really hidden secrets_

"It's beautiful"

Harry had always thought that girls had a very odd obsession when it came to jewelry. It seemed even Hermione was not immune to its call. Though perhaps with house elves it was socks. Dobby had been beyond thrilled with his gift and had cried a full ten minutes.

"What's it for?" Ron asked in typical Ron fashion as he studied the pendent

"It's a friendship charm. We all take a chain and each of us will be gifted with a miniature version of the phoenix engraved with our initials. When they're all joined together it will spell out that word" Harry explained

"_Eternity_" Hermione read, "What prompted the choice?"

"Because ours is a friendship that'll last through life, death and anything that follows. Should anything happen to either of us we shall always be joined by these pendants and our promise" Harry said

"Promise?" Ron asked, frowning

"To live for the other. To cherish the friendship forever. To believe in the message" Harry said and then smiled "My, I'm getting sentimental"

"You're telling me. What brought this on? Plan on dying any time soon?" Ron teased

"_Yes, just give me a month"_ Tom said dryly and Harry mentally rolled his eyes

"Well with Voldemort breathing down my neck it's better safe than sorry." Harry said with a shrug

"He'll have to get passed us first," Hermione promised fiercely

"Just take a chain" Harry sighed. She and Ron complied, taking a silver chain each.

They all gave the chain a gentle tug and the pendent glowed and divided into three smaller phoenixes. Harry turned his over, the three letters standing out proudly

HJP 

With careful movements Harry fastened it around his neck and swore he'd never take it off. He watched as Ron and Hermione did the same. He smiled.

"Eternity" Harry said softly and they smiled back

"_Eternity"_ Tom commented, _"Is a very long time" _

Harry looked at his friends and the compassion he saw there, the protectiveness they felt for him and the fierce love they held for one another. He smiled even wider

"Not long enough"

* * *

_On top of the world_

_

* * *

_  
If there was one thing in the world that Harry loved it was to fly.

The sense of breathtaking freedom, the rush of the wind through his hair, the way his robes wrapped tightly around him as though they too were holding on, the height that almost made him dizzy as he dived, the way his heart would thump so loudly he could almost hear it, the way he held his breath momentarily every time he did a spectacular move and it was as if the whole world was watching anxiously to see what would happen, the way he could look down and see the world spread underneath him- even the Slytherin side of him reveled in it.

Yes, Harry loved to fly

It certainly paid off sometimes. Take, for example, the fact that a figure was running out from the castle and onto the grounds. Harry had skipped breakfast just so he would be alone and he wondered why the student seemed so depressed. The day had hardly even started. When he noticed the trademark Malfoy hair he decided, for the good of the truce, to investigate. He dived. By the time he reached him Draco had taken a seat in the stands and was so lost in thought that he didn't seem to notice him

"Problem?" Harry inquired politely. Draco jumped

"Merlin, Potter, you trying to kill me?" Draco demanded

"Oh drat, you've caught me out" Harry said dryly "So what's the problem?"

Draco hesitated and held up a letter. He made no indication of handing it over and Harry raised a brow

"Yes I see your point, receiving mail is most distressing" Harry commented… then decided he listened to Tom far too often

"Its from my father" Draco said, not even taking the effort of being scornful "He wants me to become a Death Eater."

Harry was silent for a moment, studying him

"Your father's in Azkaban Malfoy, you can safely say no" Harry pointed out

"It's only a mater of time before he escapes. If I disagree he'll most likely disown me. My name is one of the most important things I have. I refuse to relinquish it. My father is a disgrace to the Malfoy name. When I inherit I'll be able to clean it up a little" Draco sighed

"So you can't refuse?" Harry asked

"No" Draco said hopelessly "I cannot"

"When is the latest you can do an initiation?" Harry asked

"A month, a month and a half. He wouldn't want to wait for a holiday and for some reason the Dark Lord has been very insistent with his Marking lately," Draco answered

"_Wants to drag down as many as possible when he finally carks it"_ Tom said bitterly

"Do you trust me Malfoy?" Harry asked, completely serious

Draco seemed to consider the question, eyeing him suspiciously

"Yes…" He said eventually

"Then tell your father you will take the Mark in a month and a half. No more, no less. Tell him that Dumbledore has you watched because of your history and it is far too dangerous to act before then. If you value you life as much as you seem to then do not get the timeframe wrong. A month and a half. If you absolutely have to, say a month but I'm approaching this with a _'better safe than sorry'_ idea" Harry said firmly. If Dumbledore was correct (and he knew from Tom and the slowly increasing pains that he was) then Voldemort had around a month left to live. The same as Harry.

"You want me to take the Mark?" Draco cried incredulously

"Don't be stupid. If you follow my instructions you won't have to. _Trust me_" Harry emphasized the last words pointedly. Draco sighed

"Very well Potter. It's not as if I have much of an option. I would like to add, however, that should I become a Death Eater I will vastly enjoy making your life very miserable" Draco threatened dangerously

"Fair enough" Harry said brightly "Care for a little one on one?"

Draco agreed and they spent as long as they could in the sky playing tag and racing each other around the pitch. Harry looked at Draco, with his ruffled hair and shining eyes, and he smiled

Yes, Harry Potter loved to fly.

* * *

_A most devilish, Slytherin plan_

_

* * *

_

It was true that while Harry had become very good at potions he was by no means an expert. He did not, however, need tutoring. But, although the feud with Snape had effectively ended, Harry wanted more than that. He was still quite certain that Snape saw him as a _'Potter'_ rather than _'Harry' _and he had no wish for Snape to still be thinking that when he died. He therefore thought that, perhaps, if Snape knew him he would be more inclined to like him. Or at least respect him somewhat. Having no legitimate reason to habitually visit the Potions master Harry devised a plan that was a Slytherin as it was brilliant

He would ask Snape for tutoring

Working alone in a close environment, it would be almost impossible not to form some sort of bond. Harry might even start to like Snape…

Well… tolerate him in any case

The plan was practically sound

Now all he had to do was ask him.

_Conversation rarely makes sense_

"What?"

"I said" Harry sighed "Would you please tutor me in potions?"

Snape, despite his confirmation, still looked as though he thought he was hearing things. In fact, Harry had seen him look so completely lost for words only once.

"Why would you wish me to tutor you in potions?" Snape asked incredulously finally recovering from shock

"Because I wish to improve in the subject. I do want to be an Auror after all," Harry said

"_Yes, too bad your dying"_ Tom said breezily

"Let me rephrase that: why should I waste my precious time teaching you?" Snape sneered

"Because I said please?" Harry said coyly and Snape smirked very softly "Pretty please with a cherry on top?" Harry added and Snape sighed

"Very well. But hold the cherries" He sneered, "I hate the damn things"

Harry smirked victoriously

* * *

_Everyone you meet is waiting_

_

* * *

_  
It was Friday and Harry was wound up tighter than a crank. Tomorrow was Saturday. Tomorrow Remus would be coming. Tomorrow he would get to ask every question he could about his parents. Tomorrow another task would be crossed off his list.

"What are you going to ask him?" Hermione questioned Harry having already told her and Ron that Remus was coming and that he would question him

"Every little thing I can think of. What was my mother's favorite colour? Where was their first date? How many times did my father actually ask her out? Little things." Harry said, fidgeting slightly

"You seem anxious" Ron commented

"I feel like I'm waiting for Godot" Harry said absently

"Who?" Ron asked and even Hermione looked puzzled

"It's a muggle play by Samuel Becket. It details two men waiting for a man named Godot who never turns up. The whole thing consists of them waiting. It still manages to be quite funny though," Harry answered

"Well, this is nothing like that. For one thing, Lupin will most certainly turn up and for another, this is hardly a play" Hermione said logically

"I know" Harry sighed, "I just hate waiting"

"_Patience is a virtue_," Tom said unhelpfully

Harry decided he loathed it.

* * *

_Stories are the fabric that is life_

_

* * *

_  
Harry had been waiting in the Headmaster's office for five minutes (five very _long _minutes) when the fire suddenly (and finally) flared green. Harry immediately jumped to his feet enthusiastically embracing the disheveled wizard who tumbled out of it, forcing him to take a step back in order to right himself.

"Hello Harry" Remus greeted

Harry grinned up at him but it faltered almost immediately. Remus looked terrible. His hair was hanging limply around his face and looked as though it hadn't been brushed in days. His eyes were dull and heavy, bearing dark smudges, his robes were so lose it was amazing they didn't simply fall off and he possessed an aura that just screamed _'depressed'_. Harry felt a stab of guilt. Sirius' death had obviously hit him hard.

"Remus?" Harry questioned worriedly. Remus managed a faint smile that was not at all reassuring

"You want to hear those stories or not?" Remus asked and although that was the worst attempt Harry had ever heard to change the subject he caved

"Yes. Dumbledore suggested we use the room of requirement," Harry said

"Professor Dumbledore, Harry" Remus said absently and without strength "And that would be fine"

Still frowning Harry lead the way, not knowing if Remus had ever been to the Room of Requirement. When they finally got there and opened the door they were greeted by a room not unlike that of the Gryffindor common room: comfy, comforting and cozy.

At first the questioning was uncomfortable. Remus looked so terribly forlorn that Harry almost hated bringing up all those painful memories for him. That was until Remus got so sucked into the past that he told stories almost without prompting, recounting tales and events while his eyes gazed somewhere in the distance looking though a portal only he could access. Though this only made Harry worry more he learned the answer to all of his questions.

Lily's favorite colour had been aqua, their fist date was to Hogsmeade and his father asked his mother out so many times that the Marauder's had stopped counting at 53.

Remus, it seemed, left nothing out. He recounted the good and the bad. The numerous torture sessions of Snape, the endless snowball fights; his parents wedding, his parents funeral; their first day of school, their graduation. Nothing was excluded. Had Harry been looking for ideas for pranks he would not have been let down.

Hours passed and Harry drank the words greedily even if Remus were reciting them in such circumstances. Remus seemed almost reluctant to stop, as though stopping would signal the return to normal life and he was procrastinating in any way he could. He told pointless things that were of no real account and yet, which Harry cherished. It were the small things that mattered

Like that his mother had always worn an emerald necklace, and his father had been allergic to peanuts, and the time his mother had done a spell incorrectly and wound up singing a whole day, and the time his father had stolen Snape's best quill- a black feather from a rare magical raven, and the time his parents had fought so loudly that the Slytherin's had come out of their common room wondering what the noise was all about.

Although Remus made the telling of these stories remarkably bittersweet because of his obvious despair Harry could not find it in himself to ask him to stop. He doubted Remus would listen anyway, he was telling story after story without a word from Harry who was content enough to sit and listen

Eventually, however, Remus did stop. Not because he wanted to, indeed Harry suspected he had halted simply because he had run out of stories. It was difficult to remember everything after all. As soon as he finished Remus finally snapped and burst into tears.

Harry, quite alarmed, approached him placing a hand on his shoulder. With an almost animalistic roar Remus lashed out, striking Harry so harshly against his left cheek that he was thrown to the other side of the room actually hitting the wall. Shocked, Harry starred at Remus, as he seemed to cry even harder. Touching his cheek Harry understood. This was the wolf in Remus. This was the part that lashed out when Remus was emotional. This was the part that should be left alone- and at a very great distance. Using a soft glamour charm to cover the mark Harry knew Remus had left, Harry left Remus to his misery already forgiving him of his anger.

Sirius' death had a taken a greater toll than Harry had thought

* * *

_Some marks never do fade_

_

* * *

_  
When Harry removed the glamour to see the damage he understood immediately why he was in such a vast amount of pain. He had forgotten that a werewolf was ten times stronger than an ordinary man when he wanted to be.

It seemed Remus had wanted to be

Harry had always thought Remus had rather large hands. The fact the bruise took up half his face supported that fact. The fact that the bruise was so bad it was black and blue and was quite noticeably a hand shaped mark did not help. Harry had actually tasted blood on the way to the Gryffindor tower and hoped that his teeth were not too badly damaged.

Tomorrow Remus would be taking him to see his parent's graves and house. Harry sincerely hoped Remus was in a better mood by then but knew better. Remus would not doubt be wracked by guilt- if the wolf had not taken over so greatly for him to remember it.

He wondered why every parental figure he had ever known always ended up harming him in some way, while knowing he could never hate nor blame them for it (barring perhaps the Dursley's). No matter what happened he always seemed to walk away scared.

Emotionally, mentally, physically

* * *

_Death is just the next great adventure_

_

* * *

_  
The next time Harry saw Remus Lupin, once again in Dumbledore' office Harry could certainly say he looked different from yesterday

He looked worse

He was starting to wonder if it had been such a great idea to invite Remus along. Perhaps he should have gone by himself. Making sure that the glamour was applied firmly and ignoring Dumbledore's inquiring look Harry greeted Remus happily, as though nothing was wrong and he was eager to get started

Remus looked off into the distance and said nothing

"Here's the Portkey" Dumbledore said noticing, but not commenting on the tense silence "It will take you directly to Godric's Hollow"

Still looking somewhat distant Remus accepted the empty tin that once held sherbet lemons and offered a section of it to Harry

"It should activate in approximately five seconds," Dumbledore said

Harry knew that when Dumbledore said _'approximately'_ he really meant _'exactly and without a doubt'_. He counted to five before feeling a sharp tug somewhere behind his navel. He took the moment of traveling to wonder what exactly the Portkey tugged on before, as quickly as it started, it stopped.

Harry was not really sure what he had been expecting. He knew, of course, that the area was laced with repelling charms for the muggles. He also knew that the Killing Curse had killed the house even if it failed to kill him. When they said it was destroyed, however, he was not prepared for the completely flat but charcoaled land.

No structure of the building remained, no unaffected wall or forgotten corner. What there was was all rubble and there was scarcely little of even that.

It looked as though it had been torched numerous times then the remains bulldozed and chopped.

Harry wondered how on earth he had survived past the killing curse

He approached it slowly and was not even aware of where he crossed the threshold of where the house had once officially started. It reeked of Dark Magic and great forces and Harry could plainly see why nothing had been rebuilt here. Even the very un-superstitious might be wary of curses. An unsettling feeling seemed to roll right down Harry's back as though the house (or perhaps the land as the house could scarcely be called that) recognized him as a member and was welcoming him home.

Harry looked around the place, filled as it was with rubble and ash, and shuddered slightly. He had always wanted to be welcomed home and now that he was he wasn't sure he enjoyed the experience. Yet, he was still glad he came. He had needed to see this, needed to come here, needed to take a final look at where it had all started. He turned back to Remus and walked back, having got what he came for and therefore able to leave. The house seemed to cry out from loss when he exited and he approached Remus feeling vastly unsettled

"I want to see where they were buried," Harry said simply

Remus led the way as, apparently, they had not been buried far from their house.

The town graveyard was indeed, a mere street away and Remus led his way to a plain headstone. The way he seemed almost awkward around it gave Harry the feeling that he had not come here often, if at all. The headstone was graying and ill tended, seeming very insignificant among the dozen others. It was also quite plain

'_James Alexander Potter  
and  
Lily Anne Evans-Potter  
_

_Married in life  
United in death'_

Harry looked uncomfortably up at Remus

"May I have a moment alone with my parents?" He asked politely. Remus' face took on a foreign emotion that Harry was sure could not mean anything good but he nodded and moved away

Harry looked at the tombstone feeling slightly at loss at what to do or say. He kneeled, as though hoping to bring himself closer to them

"Hey mum… dad" He said eventually "I miss you." It got easier after that admission "Oh Merlin, how I miss you. I wonder if you're watching over me? Are you proud? You've no doubt heard the news. I expect I'll be joining you soon. Heaven any good? Is Sirius there? Tell him I'm sorry will you? Tell him I'm so… I'm so, so sorry. At least this is it. It got Tom too. There's my job done. By accident. I wonder how that will go down but I think everyone will be too pleased to mind how it was done as long as it was. He's my voice of reason now you know. How's that for ironic? Course, he _is_ a lot more civil."

Harry paused, hesitating

"I want you to know that I tried. I want you to know that I'm living. I want you to know that I love you both more than anything and I want you to know that… well… I'm not scared anymore. It won't be so bad. I think I can make that next journey through in one piece. Sure, I'd rather wait till I was old and married with a thousand kids, but beggars can't be chooses as they say."

He paused again

"Wait for me? Lead me there? I don't want to get lost and Tom said he'd help but… well… I'd like to see you. I hope you're all right. I want you to know that I am all right. That, despite everything, I think it's all going to be okay" Harry smiled lightly "And I'm not scared anymore"

Very calmly Harry got up, brushed off his robes and walked to Remus who was standing a distance away. Remus held out the Portkey without a word and Harry took it without hesitation

Despite everything, he felt better

* * *

_Betrayal's a monster that attacks the heart_

_

* * *

_  
Remus said nothing when they arrived back at Dumbledore's office. From Dumbledore's face Harry could see he was not the only one who was worried.

"Perhaps you two would like a little more time together?" Dumbledore said, a statement more than a question

Harry nodded determinedly. Remus said nothing. Harry led Remus once more to the Room of Requirement and to the environment it provided. The room seemed somewhat more Slytherin than the fist chat and Harry knew it was because he desired peace and something to sooth his nerves. Remus sat down and gazed into the fire

"What's wrong Remus?" Harry asked gently, sitting by his feet in

Remus said nothing for a long time

"I can't do it you know," He said softly, almost calmly

"Do what?" Harry asked, more than a little puzzled

"I can't be what you need. I know that with the Dursley's dead you have nowhere to go and I know that you probably expected me to take you in" Remus said

That would have been true. Had Harry not been dying and had lived to the holidays he would have expected Remus to at least offer. He probably would have turned him down because of Voldemort (who would have lived if he was not in this situation) and the fact that Remus was very poor and would not have been able to support him or except charity but the offer would have meant everything to him. Harry felt his chest clench but Remus kept talking

"I' not strong enough Harry. I'm not like Sirius. I can't take care of you. I won't let myself. I don't love you Harry. I care for you, but I don't love you and I won't allow myself to fall in love with you. I'm a werewolf, Harry and even if I wasn't, I couldn't. You look so much like James. You remind me so much of your father. So much like Sirius. It kills me when I see you because I think that, perhaps, if not for you, they would still be here" Remus said gravely

Stung by that, Harry opened his mouth to protest but Remus waved him off

"Oh, I know you're not at fault. Not responsible. The fact is though, that without your presence neither of them would have been harmed. And your so much like them" Remus said, voice reminiscing at the last part

"But I'm not them" Harry insisted, feeling the tears coming and pushing them back "I'm not my father or Sirius. I'm Harry. Please, Remus. Please. See me as Harry."

"I can't" Remus said brokenly "And I don't think I ever will"

"But what your saying is impossible. The only way I could have really stopped it was to not be born and I hardly had any control over that!" Harry said determinedly

"I wish you did" Remus whispered

Harry's insides froze. He starred at Remus as though he didn't know who he was looking at.

"I'll only hurt you Harry" Remus said, as though to defend himself. He waved his wand and Harry felt his glamour vanish "And it'll be much worse than a simple bruise"

But Harry wasn't really listening. All he had heard was that his last mentor had just told him he wished he were never born. Harry got to his feet and looked levelly at Remus knowing he was going to burst into tears the moment he left and said very calmly

"You've hurt me far worse than anything you could ever imagine"

Then he bolted from the room leaving Remus starring back at the fire and shedding not even a tear at what he had done

After all, he had believed what he had said

* * *

_**TBC...**_

* * *


	5. A Helping Hand

**Summery-** The point of building a house of cards is to see it reach the sky before it tumbles into ruin. Sometimes all you need is a little motivation and a touch of fate to do what you always wished to do. Harry gets some startling news and decides that its time to put his life into order. Armed only with a voice in his head that sounds remarkably like Tom Riddle, and a _'To Do'_ list Harry sets out to set the pieces in place.

Incudes sadness, determination, betrayal by one thought an angel and love by one thought a demon. A bittersweet story that shows you how love, in all its purity, can solve almost anything, that some things last through life, death and whatever the hell follows afterwards- that the point of the cards is not to fall, but to touch the sky...

**Parings-** Hermione/Ron and (if you really, really squint) implied Ginny/Draco. No pairings for Harry and the two listed are simply background pairings. Harry is the main character- his pov and all

**Warnings-** Spoilers for all but the latest book. This is Harry's sixth year.

**A/N-** Another chapter done and ready. Not as sad as the last one and even (yes, that's right) a little mushy! I think the occasion calls for it though. Happy Mothers Day! Read and Review!

-Nat rulz

_When your down and stricken  
With no where left to turn  
When your world, it shatters  
And the tears you shed, they burn  
When all the stars do tumble  
And the sun it turns to dust  
Where every deed seems twisted  
And every love, mere lust  
When your throat is torn from screaming  
You stronghold, you erect it  
You'll find a helping hand will catch you  
In the last place you expect it._

**Chapter Five- A Helping Hand**

Harry hadn't cried so much since he had been told he was dying. Right now he wished that seed would hurry up and get it over and done with because at the moment living did not seem all that appealing, even as he huddled in the corner of a deserted dungeon classroom

At that moment he despised Remus Lupin with everything he had

He paid the sharp pain in his face no mind as he continuously burrowed it deeper into his arms curling into an incessantly tighter ball, the tears coming even harder no matter how much he thought he had spent them all.

"Potter?" Came a surprised voice that Harry recognized as Severus Snape. He wondered why the man had such a habit of finding him in his worst states

"My name is Harry" Harry said firmly, not showing his face and revealing the bruise he had forgotten to hide "I'm sick of people calling me Potter as though it is an insult. I am not my father, I am not Sirius Black and I most certainly not a potter"

"Problem?" Snape asked dryly and Harry sobbed, burring himself further into his arms and feeling somewhat ashamed by it

"I haven't cried as much as I have this year in my whole life" Harry commented brokenly, as if defending himself

"Was it the house that upset you or the graves?" Snape asked, sounding awkward but kind

"My supervisor" Harry said

"Lupin?" Snape asked, obviously surprised

"He told me he couldn't look after me. With my family dead he thought I might turn to him for shelter. I hadn't even thought on it but he was right. I would have turned him down of course, what with Voldemort, his financial problems and everything but he denied me the chance to even hope he'd ask," Harry whispered

"Why? I thought he was fond of you" Snape said and Harry gave a bitter laugh

"No adult is ever fond of me. Every adult has harmed me emotionally, physically and mentally. My parents harmed me by dying and leaving me with my aunt and uncle, who harmed me by fists, words and humiliation." Harry said

"What about your godfather. It was hardly his fault he died and therefore did not harm you on purpose," Snape said

"My godfather loved me but saw me as James" Harry said and could tell Snape was about to protest so continued "He came onto me once" He once again halted the outrage by continuing "He was drunk at the time and he didn't actually do anything, just try to kiss me and I pushed him off, telling him he my godfather and, although I was bi, hardly my type. He answered by saying _'Don't be silly James, I'm not your Godfather'_ and trying to kiss me again. I put a sleep spell on him using his wand. I know Sirius cared for me, but he did see my father. Perhaps if he had lived longer he would have loved me for me and not for James" Harry said.

"Now Remus" Harry continued in a whisper and his voice cracked "Remus managed to do all three, a feat only previously achieved by the Dursley's. Except I thought Remus actually cared and that hurt more than anything else"

"All three?" Snape said sounding puzzled "But you said…"

He cut himself off and there was a long silence

"Look at me" Snape said softly. Harry tensed and stayed very still. Snape noticed

"Look at me" He repeated but again Harry did not

"Look at me Harry" he said firmly

Whether it was the use of his first name or the tone of his voice, Harry didn't know. All he knew was that he found himself looking into the black eyes of his potion's master. Snape swore when he saw his face

"It doesn't matter" Harry whispered, "He was angry, I've had worse and I'll certainly cope"

That was obviously the wrong thing to say because Snape looked furious

"You shouldn't have to cope damn it! You're seventeen! You're still a child! You shouldn't have to worry about wayward werewolves!" Snape cried. Harry smiled somewhat bitterly

"I always have to worry about what one normally shouldn't," He whispered. Snape had to concede the point. Harry sighed

"Still, it would have been nice to have somewhere to call home that wasn't a school. Maybe I'm simply not meant to have parents. Fate seems to do an excellent job of killing them off," Harry said, feeling himself sink into self pity

"Come child" Snape said so softly Harry nearly didn't hear him

Snape led him to his office and, after locking and warding the door, got out what was obviously a healing cream. He gently applied it to Harry's cheek, which tingled under the coolness and the gentle caress.

"This will help but it will not completely heal it. It should be gone in a couple of days," Snape said gently

"Thank you sir" Harry said. Snape once again looked slightly awkward

"And Lupin is an idiot. If he can't see and appreciate who you are that's his loss. He has no idea what he's missing" Snape said seriously Harry smiled slightly

"Thank you sir" Harry whispered, more sincerely

In an uncharacteristic gesture, Snape suddenly gathered Harry in a firm embrace. Harry tensed before relaxing into it, thinking that Snape was oddly warm and feeling the compassion around him. Overwhelmed, Harry cried for the second time that day but for the first time in his life he had someone there to willingly to comfort him

And suddenly it didn't seem so bad

* * *

_Dream a little, dream of me_

_

* * *

"Master?"_

_Fear. The air was swamped with it. It hung as heavy as chains, so thick an infant could sense it. He breathed in the scent, not taking the time to revel in it as he usually would. The seeds in his mind festered, one of his own creation the other a thing of such love, beauty and hope that it was literally killing him. He was desperate and had no time for fear_

"_I want you to retrieve for me a book," He said calmly. His savant faltered, perhaps already knowing where the conversation headed_

"_A book, my lord?" He questioned hesitantly_

"Crucio_" He said calmly paying very little attention to the agonized screams _

"_Yes Wormtail, a book. Perhaps you are familiar with such things. They are known to contain information," He said dryly_

"_What sort of book?" Wormtail asked_

_He considered cursing him for being so bold but his head gave a sharp throb and he decided that even torture was sometimes not worth the effort_

"_Anything on necromancy, immortality, unicorns blood, life debts and bonds and the Fountain of Youth" He said _

"_Yes, my lord" Wormtail said, obviously waiting for the catch. He obliged_

"_I want the Hogwarts books," He said softly. There was a sort silence_

"_But my Lord, How can I-"_

"Crucio_" He said, cutting him short. This time he savored the spell slightly before lifting it. Magic was becoming slightly draining to cast. Having only one seed the Potter brat probably did not have that problem. _

"_You are, of course, aware that Hogwarts holds more books than any other place in England? And that some of them have been there since the founder's time and, therefore, cannot be found anywhere else? I want you to sneak in there, Wormtail, I shall provide a bag that will tie around your neck and shrink when you transform. It will fit as many books as you can find. You will, naturally, have to make the trip at night but I will not tolerate failure" He said calmly. Wormtail visibly gulped_

"_Yes my Lord. I shall acquire these books for you" Wormtail muttered _

"_Excellent" He said stonily, even though he suspected he was fighting a losing battle. The seeds gave a victorious throb and Voldemort scowled looking for an outlet for his anger. Luckily, he happened to have one_

"Crucio_" he snapped and this time, he spent a long while basking in the screams as they echoed off the dungeon walls._

_

* * *

_

_The importance of support_

_

* * *

_

Harry awoke with a start automatically taking note of several things. The first thing he noticed was that a hand was gently shaking his shoulder and a voice calling his name. The second thing he noticed was that he was most certainly not in the Gryffindor Tower. The third thing he noticed was that he was in a hell of a lot of pain and the fourth thing he noticed was that the voice and hand belonged to Severus Snape who was currently bent over him looking uncharacteristically worried.

Immediately transported to the years of his childhood when he awaked violently and screaming to a flash of green light, Harry cowered slightly anticipating the vigorous beating that always accompanied such things. Of course, it never came and, slightly nervous, Harry licked his suddenly dry lips.

"I'm sorry for waking you," He offered timidly. Snape sighed

"You didn't wake me. You didn't make so much as a sound. I came in here and saw you thrashing" Snape said, "I woke you"

Harry was slightly grateful that the beatings had done something useful and made him totally silent while dreaming

"Where exactly am I?" He asked, effectively changing the subject

"My quarters. You basically collapsed from exhaustion. I did not fancy carrying you to Gryffindor tower so I brought you here" Snape said softly

"Sorry" Harry said again and, once again, Snape responded with a sigh

"You have nothing to be sorry for child, people tire. It's inevitable. Especially after what you went through. Remus Lupin better pray he never sees me again because I may have to kill him." Snape said appearing completely serious

Harry couldn't find anything to say to that so he tried to sit up

And was immediately and brutally reminded that he was in a hell of a lot of pain. He fell back with a groan.

"Problem?" Snape asked but he sounded unusually concerned

Harry was far too tired to start dissecting the enigma that was Snape, however, and replied without a fight

"You don't have anything for the aftereffects of _Cruico_ do you?" he asked as a sharp pain racked his bones

Snape cursed and hurried urgently (Snape was far to dignified to _run_) away and returned moments later with a vial which Harry drank gratefully, immediately feeling better

"Sorry" He sighed, "Those visions are painful as hell"

"Vision? You had a vision?" Snape asked incredulously and Harry suddenly sat bolt upright as his mind cleared

"Wormtail! He's coming to the castle!" Harry cried

"Your certain?" Snape asked

"Trust me Voldemort gave away far too much information than he would have had this been a trap" Harry said firmly knowing for a fact that Voldemort was weaker because of the seeds and that he most certainly not want anyone else to know that. Served the bastard right

Harry knew very well what had happened in the Department of Mysteries. He knew just as well that he was played like a fiddle and, although it had not been his fault and though he knew for certain that this vision was genuine and probably a side-effect of Voldemort's quickly fading strength, he also knew that Snape had every reason to doubt him. To dismiss him with a sneer and an inconsequential wave of the hand. To Harry's shock he found that he cared. To his utter disbelief Snape uttered only a single, all-important word:

"When?"

* * *

_Two heads are better than one_

_

* * *

_  
It was midnight exactly on Monday night when Harry stood patiently outside the library with a rather disgruntled Snape who insisted they should have warned Dumbledore what they were doing while Harry insisted that the old man already knew they were here, invisibility cloak or no, as he knew basically everything that happened in the castle

Snape had to concede the point

It was a rather simple plan. They had both constructed a cage that could not be broken and all they had to do was wait for the rat with a silver paw and brown bag tied around his neck and catch him.

Honestly, Harry very much doubted it would be that simple.

It was three O'clock and Harry was considering calling it a night when Harry saw a flash of silver

It was, Harry thought, rather like spotting the snitch. Everything depended upon its capture but after one caught sight of it the rest was rather instinctive.

He nudged Snape and pointed at Wormtail. Snape nodded, showing that he saw him, and cast the strongest Spell Wall there was at exactly at the same time as Harry did. Wormtail ran directly into it and Harry sniggered as the rat fell back, its feet wagging comically. He thought he even saw Snape smile slightly.

Before the rodent had time to get back to his feet Harry drew his wand

"_Accio Rat_" He hissed putting all his power into the spell

To say it was _'quite powerful' _would have been a vast understatement

To say that Wormtail liked his cage would be an outright lie

"Oh my" Harry said mildly as the rat proceeded to panic trying in vain to escape "I seem to have found a rat. It's probably ridden with disease"

"Most definitely" Snape agreed snidely "We better dispose of this vermin"

"I think" Harry said with a smirk "That it has a date with the Minister of Magic. I heard Azkaban's rather nice this time of year"

Harry and Snape smirked evilly. Wormtail fainted.

* * *

_Important news is faster than a horse_

_

* * *

_  
Considering the circumstances the papers were absolutely screaming the next day and the headlines would have been impossible to miss if one was deaf, blind and mute.

Harry had not been at all surprised when they had found Dumbledore up and waiting for them (but Snape had commented softly that he knew far too much for his own good) and he had merely smiled softly when Dumbledore had simply looked at the rat and said, "Dear me, we seem to have an infestation. I'll alert the cats"

Harry almost pitied the rats when he thought of a certain ginger cat

Almost

Hermione and Ron watched him closely as they knew (as everyone else _thought_ they knew) that he had had a part in Wormtail's capture. (Though it did not help that the papers declared as much) and –rather than question him- simply asked if he was going to the trial. He told them, quite proudly, that he was.

Besides, he got off a day of school for it

The trial, to take place on Friday (which was really rather lucky as he was headed to the hospital on Saturday and that was bound to cause him a heap load of publicity. Good to get it all over and done with) and would, apparently, take up the majority of the day. Although Harry's only trips to the Ministry were somewhat less to be desired he had a feeling this one wouldn't be quite so bad.

He was in such a terrific mood that when Snape gave him detention for not paying attention he had not been at all upset. Though he was slightly amazed to see Draco Malfoy was sympathetic

Then again Draco Malfoy thought Snape a Death Eater and likely to torture and maim him.

Harry thought that, compared to detention, might be considered a mercy.

* * *

_Fate has a strange sense of irony_

_

* * *

_  
It was Thursday and despite his early eagerness Harry could not keep his mind off the appending trial. The fact the he was not anticipating said trail would lodge these thoughts quite firmly in the _'brooding'_ category. Although his friends were quite puzzled at the abrupt change he found he could not adequately answer his questions. Not even when Draco had finally snapped at seeing him so despondent and taken him flying had improved his mood much- though it had made him and Draco slightly closer (though he expected this was more for the youngest Weasley that Draco was eyeing oddly than a sudden desire for his friendship). To his rather immense surprise he found himself going to detention early if only to get himself away from all the questions and concerned looks. Snape looked up once he saw him and smirked.

"Follow me" He said simply standing up gracefully and walking to a door that Harry knew from experience led to his quarters. He took a seat in what was obviously the living room and indicated that Harry take the one opposite. Harry did so, turning his gaze the roaring fire so that his teacher would not see his confusion and surprise.

"Would you like to play chess?" Snape asked, quite calmly as if it were the most logical question. Harry could not help but stare at him

"Er… sir? This is supposed to be detention," Harry said uncertainly inwardly questioning his teacher's mental health. Snape merely lifted a shoulder and summoned over a chess set

"I'm a horrible chess player," Harry warned, deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak

"Then I shall have to teach you" Snape said evenly

They spent hours playing chess and Snape actually helped Harry grasp a better concept of the game as he pointed out his faults without any scorn and helped him to improve. They were halfway through their fifth game and had been playing for two hours (Harry was surprised to be enjoying himself) when Snape spoke of something other than chess.

"So what seems to be troubling you?" Snape asked simply as he directed his rook

"Why should you think anything is troubling me?" Harry asked after he got over his mild surprise at the question

"One- you have not been eating properly, a sure sign that you are unsettled. Two- you've been running your hand through your hair more often than usual showing your worried and three- you have been paying even less attention than usual in your classes showing you are distracted. I think I have reason to think you are troubled," Snape said simply and Harry stared

"You" Harry said softly "Have been spying far too long". Snape smirked and raised an eyebrow, awaiting an answer. Harry directed his queen and sighed

"The trial's tomorrow" He said eventually and Snape remained silent, obviously waiting for the rest of the explanation

"At first I was glad, maybe even a little excited" Harry blurted, almost against his will, talking adamantly "But this is the guy that killed my parents! He's the reason I have no family! He's the reason Voldemort's back! He's the reason for all my troubles- and that scares me" Harry finished softly

"It is an understandable thing to feel, you have no reason to feel frightened by your own emotions" Snape said calmly, not at all phased by his outburst

"_It is a little silly"_ Tom commented. Harry sighed again

"I think I hate him," Harry said "And I think that… when I hate anyone I hate them so intensely that it frightens even me"

"Considering those you hate, that is also understandable" Snape said "And everyone possesses the ability to hate. People have hated another for far less"

"I don't know what I'll do if I see him" Harry admitted "I'd probably want to hurt him in the most painful way possible"

"Then do so by not reacting. Your calmness and politeness and friendliness as well as truthfulness are what will unsettle and scare him the most. He is too used to pain and ridicule for that to have any effect. Be somewhat neutral and not only will he botch his own trail but he will be shaking in his boots thinking about all the things your planning to do to him. He'll think of many more things than you ever could" Snape suggested

"I don't think I could do it alone" Harry said uncertainly

"Then take someone with you" Snape said simply. Harry looked up from the board and into his dark eyes

"Will you accompany me?" Harry asked politely. Snape seemed surprised but covered it quickly. He looked thoughtful for a moment and nodded

"I shall," He granted

Harry smiled moving his queen and unknowingly giving Snape an opening

"Checkmate" Snape said, leaning back with something suspiciously resembling a smile gracing his lips. Harry sighed dramatically reconsidering his opinion of detention with Snape from grueling, horrible and unpleasant to a single word:

Enlightening.

* * *

_Guilty until proven innocent_

_

* * *

_  
It was Friday and Harry was waiting for the right time, not wanting to go to the headmaster's office earlier. His friends were watching him sympathetically and having spent an hour talking Emerald out of accompanying him, he was not at all in the mood

"You'll be right mate. Think of it this way- you miss out on double potions" Ron said and Hermione slapped his arm. Harry said nothing, having not told them he had asked Snape to accompany him and they would, therefore, most likely not have potions that day. He sighed

"Yeah. I better get going. You two have fun" He said softly making his way to the headmaster's office and, to his annoyance, that task took much too short a time for his peace of mind

"Come in Harry" Dumbledore called before he knocked and with a roll of his eyes, Harry entered. Fawkes gave a jubilant cry and flew to him, obviously ecstatic to see him. Harry smiled and petted him softly and the bird trilled in pleasure

"Fawkes has been most anxious about you lately Harry. It is all I can do to stop him checking up on you every five minutes," Dumbledore said, the twinkle dimming just so. Harry felt a painful throb in his head (a reminder of how he had just two weeks left) and winced- an act not unnoticed by the headmaster who frowned

"It's alright Fawkes" Harry said, "I'm okay now"

Fawkes trilled sadly and settled snugly on his shoulder, obviously reluctant to leave him.

"Come here please Harry" Dumbledore requested and when Harry did so he muttered a spell. He was obviously unhappy because he sighed sadly

"I'm afraid the connection has grown," He said and his eyes flickered momentarily to a very confused Snape Harry understood it as _'The seed is larger now'_

"Is it bothering you?" Dumbledore asked meaning _'Does it hurt?'_

"More than usual" Harry said meaning _'A little'_

"I'm afraid I can do nothing to stop it" Dumbledore sighed, seeming very drained and Harry knew it meant _'I can't find a cure'_

"That's alright," Harry said kindly, meaning what he said, "Is the date the same?"

"Yes" Dumbledore said warily and Harry nodded. Two weeks then

"Why do I have the impression that you two are having some sort of secret conversation?" Snape snapped, slightly annoyed at being left out.

"Why Severus, I have no idea what you mean," Dumbledore said, the twinkle returning slightly "Sherbet lemon?"

Snape merely snorted but Harry took one, shrugging when Snape raised his eyebrow

"I've never actually tried them" Harry said simply "You only live once"

"Yes, well we wouldn't want yours to be cut tragically short" Snape muttered and while Dumbledore's eyes dimmed again Harry smiled

"Careful what you wish for" Harry teased and Snape rose a brow

"Why?" He questioned

"Because it might come true" Harry said simply and Snape scoffed

"Luckily, I wished for nothing" He pointed out and Harry sighed happily

"Oh good, I would rather not die this very second. Way too anti-climax" Harry said cheerfully and Dumbledore smiled at his humor.

"We going any time soon?" Snape asked and Harry could have sworn he was sulking. He smiled

"Of course, of course, just take this." Dumbledore said handing over an old boot. The moment both of them took hold Harry felt a fierce tug somewhere behind his navel and they were pulled forward.

They landed awkwardly and Harry only just managed to right himself realizing as he did so that Fawkes was still firmly attached to his shoulder. He rolled his eyes and looked around the empty room where the only thing that decorated it (using the term rather loosely here) was a pile of mismatched objects in the corner, portkeys that have been used and were to be recycled. With a careless toss Snape deposited the boot to join them and then exited the room in his usual elegant manner leaving Harry with nothing left to do but follow, a stubborn bird still firmly anchored to his shoulder.

He handed his wand over reluctantly at the desk and the wizard looked as though he was going to comment his eyes screaming '_Oh-My-God-It's-Harry-Potter' _but suddenly went very pale and merely handed the wand back. Curious Harry looked at Snape and saw he was giving the wizard his own look, one that said _'Say-Anything-And-I'll-Rip-Out-Your-Spleen'_. Harry felt an odd rush of gratitude as they were rushed uneventfully passed him and into the lift.

Harry wasn't exactly sure how they made it to the courtroom. He was sure that if it had been anywhere near the Department of Mysteries he would have preferred to drink poison than go there but as it was he found himself in a courtroom that was, while similar to the ones he had seen in Dumbledore's pensive, noticeably different. It was much larger for one thing. Peter Pettigrew was chained to his chair for another.

Harry fought very hard not to brutally murder him

Snape's hand on his shoulder helped, as did the tightening of Fawkes claws

Besides, Harry thought he'd rather die with a murder-free slate. He was sure such an offence would not look too appealing to whoever decided who entered Heaven or Hell. They took seats near the front, as Harry wanted a decent view.

An old man, balding and slightly large round the middle stood, shuffling papers and clearing his throat commandingly. All conversation immediately ceased. Harry took that opportunity to look around and saw to his satisfaction that Fudge was looking severely displeased.

Okay, so displeased was an understatement

"Calling to order the trial of one Peter Nathan Pettigrew, accused of the murder of thirteen muggles, the framing of Sirius Orion Black, the attempted murder of Harry James Potter, of being a Death Eater and in service to the Dark Lord and of attempted theft from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Should he be found guilty Sirius Orion Black, now deceased, will be cleared of all charges and declared innocent along with a pardon to his family and compensation to his heir, should he have left one." The man intoned, sounding bored and droll, a bitter juxtaposition to the wayward emotions Harry himself was experiencing.

The man looked at Peter who was looking appropriately nervous

"How do you plead?" He asked sagely and Peter trembled

"Innocent?" He said, more of a question than a statement, to test if he could get away with it.

Harry doubted he could.

The evidence was damning. The mere fact Peter was alive contested that Sirius did at least, not kill him. The Dark Mark contested the fact that he was a Death Eater, the fact that he had been caught in the act contested that he had tried to steal a book for Voldemort and truth potion provided evidence that he had been responsible for the Potter's death and had, subsequently, killed the thirteen muggles.

Fudge looked deadly by the end of it, which Harry supposed was expected since he was the one that was quite publicly embarrassed by the whole thing and would most likely be forced to resign. Harry supposed it didn't help he was practically rubbing that failure in his face

It felt remarkably good to do so

Peter was nervous and jittery throughout his trial. He kept sneaking looks at Harry who would follow Snape's advice and just smile calmly at him. Remarkably enough this seemed to unsettle him even more and some lies he told unraveled as when he was re-asked the question for clarification he gave a completely different response. His eyes strayed continuously to Harry's form and even Fawkes, obviously waiting for him to make his move. Of course, Harry had nothing planned

It was fun to see him suffer though

Unfortunately the trial eventually came to an end and the same portly man stood, clearing his throat once more, turning to the judges

"What is the verdict?" He asked

A woman with hair cropped short to her ears and a serious but quite pretty smile stood

"We, the jury, find the defendant guilty of all charges and charge him with a life sentence in Azkaban" She said seriously, with no remorse

Struggling, pleading and yelling to Harry that he hated him and to save him all at once, Peter was dragged out of the room and Harry felt something shift inside of him as the doors were shut

"Sirius Orion Black is here-for-after cleared of all charges," The portly man said before seating. Harry sighed in relief and stood, realizing then that Snape was still holding a hand on his shoulder. He gave him a thankful look and began to walk to the door, glancing around quickly as he did so

He noticed Fudge's eyes burned with revenge

* * *

_**TBC...**_

* * *


	6. Revelations

**Summery-** The point of building a house of cards is to see it reach the sky before it tumbles into ruin. Sometimes all you need is a little motivation and a touch of fate to do what you always wished to do. Harry gets some startling news and decides that its time to put his life into order. Armed only with a voice in his head that sounds remarkably like Tom Riddle, and a _'To Do'_ list Harry sets out to set the pieces in place.

Incudes sadness, determination, betrayal by one thought an angel and love by one thought a demon. A bittersweet story that shows you how love, in all its purity, can solve almost anything, that some things last through life, death and whatever the hell follows afterwards- that the point of the cards is not to fall, but to touch the sky...

**Parings-** Hermione/Ron and (if you really, really squint) implied Ginny/Draco. No pairings for Harry and the two listed are simply background pairings. Harry is the main character- his pov and all

**Warnings-** Spoilers for all but the latest book. This is Harry's sixth year.

**A/N-** Hey all. Sorry its a little late but I've was out of state for a wedding (don't you just love them!) so I was unable to post anything. On the other hand Perth was very nice-- flat though! There was a simgle hill in the entire city- seriously! Very pretty though, the river (Swan River) seemed to go on forever. The people were very nice as well. A large change from Sydney but I'm happy to be home! Enjoy the chapter and read and review!

-Nat rulz

_I have a little secret  
__I wish to show to you  
__I have a hidden talent_

_Possessed by very few  
This days been one for shock  
__Surprises and blank faces_

_And all these things we've figured out  
__Are sure to take us places._

**Chapter Six- Revelations**

"How did it go?" Dumbledore asked as soon as Harry and Snape appeared back in his office

"Guilty of all charges" Harry said happily then paused "Though Fudge looked displeased"

"You could say that" Snape muttered dryly

"And I see you have yet to get rid of Fawkes" Dumbledore observed and said bird trilled

"Nope" Harry said easily, petting him softly

"I find myself rather busy as of late, perhaps you could care for him for two weeks or so for me?" Dumbledore asked and Harry paused

"Your certain?" He questioned

"Of course. I doubt he would leave you anyway," Dumbledore said cheerfully and Harry smiled and nodded

"Off to bed with you then, you have a hospital to visit tomorrow. Will Severus be accompanying you?" Dumbledore questioned, eyes twinkling. Harry turned his own hopeful eyes to Severus who sighed in a long-suffering sort of way

"If I must," he conceded dramatically

Harry grinned

* * *

_The secrets we keep_

_

* * *

_

"So what exactly are you doing today at the hospital?" Hermione asked him as Harry sat in front of the fireplace stroking Fawkes. Harry smiled mischievously

"You'll find out soon enough," He teased

"You should have been here yesterday mate, Snape cancelled the class" Ron said for the fifth time that morning probably to make up for the fact that Harry had come back too late at night and, consequently, he had already been sleeping

"I know" He said tiredly "He came with me"

Ron immediately put on his sympathy face

"Rotten luck that," He said

"Not really. I asked him to" Harry said simply

Silence greeted that confession

"What?" Ron asked, confused

"I didn't want to go alone so I asked him to come with me" Harry repeated as though it were the most normal thing on earth

"You asked the greasy git to go to the trial?" Ron asked incredulously

"Yes. He's not so bad really." Harry said thoughtfully and Ron spluttered

"Not so bad! He's a complete bastard!" Ron cried

"To you" Harry said calmly "To everyone else. We've reached an agreement"

"An agreement?" Ron repeated, incredulous

"Yes. A little like the one I have with Draco Malfoy" Harry explained

"Draco Malfoy?" Ron cried in shock

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that" Harry mused "Me and Malfoy have arranged a truce"

"A truce!"

Harry was getting quite rather tired of Ron repeating everything he said. His head throbbed

"Yes Ron, a truce. If Voldemort's going to kill me I'd rather not have any enemies" He finally snapped

A long hiss sounded, attracting Harry's attention and he looked down as Emerald Fire wound up his leg and traveled to his wrist hissing possessively to the phoenix

_/My human! Mine/_ she hissed and Harry could not help but laugh at the indignation of the bird

_/Possessive little thing, aren't you/_ Harry said with a smile. He looked up to see Ron was quite lost for words and took the opportunity to depart

"By the way Ron, he's coming with me today as well" Harry called out before the portrait closed behind him. He eventually entered Dumbledore's office wearing a smile and thought absently that Tom was having much too great an influence on him. Snape was already there

"Ready?" Dumbledore asked holding out the portkey but keeping a firm hold of it

"Your coming?" Harry asked in surprise

"For the first time in years, I'm actually curious. Of course I'm coming," He said merrily. Harry took the portkey with a smile and the next moment, they were gone

They appeared in what was obviously the foyer and Dumbledore pocketed the portkey before turning to Harry questioningly

"Where to?" He asked

"I want to see those who cannot be cured and those who have fatal illness with no or little hope of surviving" Harry said

"Top floor then" Dumbledore said simply, still looking slightly curious

"Lead the way" Harry directed politely and with a short bow Dumbledore did so

Harry entered the very first room on the top floor and made his way to the bed, ignoring the homey touches that indicated a long stay. The patient was a girl around twelve years old and seemed merely sleeping. A Healer was in the room and Harry addressed her as Fawkes flew to Dumbledore, in order to keep out of the way while Emerald kept herself hidden

"What's the matter with her?" He asked keeping his voice calm and level

"Bad clash of hexes. The _Ever-Sleep_ spell was used in conjunction to _Stupefy_ and as you can see it resulted in a coma that we have been unable to find a counter charm for" the Healer sighed sadly "And to be honest, I'm not very hopeful"

Harry nodded absently and walked forward raking his eyes up and down the girl's silent form, analyzing her. Finally he reached out and pressed the palm of her right hand to the very top of her chest, where the skin was clearly visible. Ignoring the indignant cries of the Healer at such an inappropriate touch he closed his eyes, summoned all his magical energy and _pushed _

It was an odd feeling, emptying your magic into a living person. A thing that was, by all logic, supposedly impossible. Harry could actually feel it as his magic ate away at the girl's ailment. It literally bit away the curses and healed her from the inside out. If anyone had asked Harry would have found it impossible to explain. All that mattered, and all that anyone would really care about, was that he had, somehow, miraculously, healed her.

As the healing completed Harry drew his magic back into himself making sure to leave just a flicker behind in case her health deteriorated in any way. That was the downside to such a thing. Not only did the injured soak in his magic to heal but he also had to leave a little behind incase something went wrong. Considering how large the hospital was, such a thing as healing them all seemed very daunting. A reason he chose to do only the fatal and incurable. He expected to be exhausted at the end of the day as it was. He could only hope it was not too bad.

He stepped away his eyes turning to Dumbledore and Severus both of whom were appropriately shocked. He smirked and turned back to the girl who was starting to stir

"Mum?" She whispered, startling the Healer and causing her to jump

"Your safe now" Harry told her kindly "Sleep"

The girl needed no further encouragement for heavy lids quite rapidly covered her hazel eyes and she slept a peaceful, natural sleep. He turned his eyes back on his teachers

"So" He asked, overly bright "Whose next?"

Both of them just stared

"You just healed her," Severus said blankly

"Yep" Harry said lightly

"Your hand glowed gold," He said again. Harry blinked at that

"Did it? How odd" He commented

"Yes" Severus said, his snide self returning "odd would be an appropriate word for it"

"You realize Harry, that what you've just done is supposed to be impossible" Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling madly

"Yes. Made it impossible to research" Harry said, eyes filled with mirth

The Healer stared

"Your Harry Potter" She whispered, awed

"I'm quite lucky really," Harry said absently causing the Healer to frown in confusion "I'll never forget my name for people seem to think they have to constantly remind me"

The Healer actually blushed

"Forgetfulness aside, do you wish to continue this endeavor or not? Still another forty or so people to heal" Severus said

"Yes, of course" Harry said happily "Next up"

He existed the room Severus, Dumbledore and a curious healer following behind him.

It was slow work. It was made even more difficult by the ever-growing crowd that seemingly had nothing better to do than follow him from room to room and watch him heal patients. It was not long until someone alerted the media and he had people with cameras and clipboards follow him endlessly. Even though the reporters were not stupid enough to talk to him and risk breaking his concentration as he Healed he still found it distracting until he became too tired and drained to care.

But he refused to stop.

He continued onwards, person to person, room to room, bed to bed. The patients were roomed according to severity and length of time they had stayed in the hospital so it got progressively harder and took that much more of his energy every person he took. Eventually, however, he got to the people he knew he would have gotten to eventually

Neville's parents

Harry had never seen anything so horribly sad. Their eyes were distant, vacant, devoid of all life. They stared firmly into a nothingness only they could see and the glassiness of their eyes reminded Harry eerily of porcelain dolls in their beauty and fragility.

He shuddered

Walking forward slowly Harry approached the mother first (he realized that he did not even know her name. He'd never asked) and placed his palm on her breast. The people held their breath and Harry was suddenly aware of a heavy weight pressing him down. Shaking the feeling off Harry closed his eyes, summoned as much power as he could and _pushed_

It was distinctly unpleasant and the most exhausting thing Harry had ever done. There was so much damage that Harry found himself forced to poor more and more power into the woman's body. Power that, quite frankly, he simply could not spare. Yet he went on watching in his mind as the woman's mind healed. Watching as he spread his magic over the trauma, erasing it and watching as her mind became more focused. He sent her a few flickers of information so she would not be completely lost in the new world that had been created without her and, with a trembling breath, he drew back as much magic as he could, making sure to leave a spark behind and ensuring that she would sleep so that her body would adjust to the changes while it was unconscious.

He staggered as he stood and nearly fell, feeling as though he had just run several long marathons. The crowd looked at him questioningly, seeking confirmation. Harry offered a shaky nod

"She'll be fine. She's just sleeping" He assured them. Ignoring their jubilant cries (sure it was easy for _them_ to be happy) he turned to Neville's father and sighed as he repeated the whole process again.

He nearly didn't make it. He felt drained and tired and absolutely dead. The only thing that saved his was his Gryffindor pride and Slytherin ambition. When he reached the last patient he was close to collapsing while still refusing any help to walk. The last patient was a man. He had been in the hospital, according to the healer, for almost twenty-three years. They couldn't find exactly what was wrong with him because it seemed to affect him everywhere at once. All the Healer could say was that he had suffered at the hands of some of the most ruthless of Death Eaters.

Harry gave the man every last drop of power he had, and then some. He gave all his energy and life, he drained his whole self. It nearly wasn't enough but Harry, somehow, made it. He broke away not able to fight when the sudden shift to reality knocked him down. Or the hands that gently lifted him.

"Harry?" Severus' voice came sounding somewhat distant and Harry was aware of the fact that he was the one holding him. He snuggled closer to the warmth he gave

"Tired" Harry managed to whisper, the world strangely off-kilter

"Sleep then" The voice came softly

Harry didn't even try to fight the darkness. His Slytherin side knew when to surrender and gave in willingly

The comforting arms of his Potion Master held him as he lost the world, and slept.

* * *

_Well… that was odd_

_

* * *

_  
Ron and Hermione, still a little miffed at Harry for actually spending time with Snape… _voluntarily_… were therefore shocked to see the Potions Master stride confidently through the halls, an unconscious Harry Potter clutched almost protectively to his chest and a smiling Albus Dumbledore walking calmly behind him.

"Silly child overexerted himself," Severus said but without the usual bite to his words

"Ahh the confidence of youth" Dumbledore said lightly

"He should have stopped at the Longbottom's" Severus continued, ignoring the comment "He could have come back in a couple of weeks"

Something in Dumbledore's eyes flickered just a little before returning

"I think he wanted to do this while he had the chance," He said softly

"Stupid Gryffindor" Severus said, but not unkindly. In fact, one could even say it sounded affectionate

"You certainly seem to be getting on well" Dumbledore commented, eyes twinkling "I've never known for Harry to ask an adult for help."

Severus looked down at Harry as though he could explain everything away

"I think I've become" He paused, trying to find the words "fond of the child"

It sounded as though he had expected hell to freeze over before he became fond of any child

"It certainly seems as though he thinks he can talk to you" Dumbledore commented "I've never seen him give such trust. Not even to Remus"

Severus scowled at the werewolf's name

"That man's a menace" He growled dangerously "He hit the child, Albus. Hit him! Even I would never touch a student, no matter how often I've longed to do so. Harry was quite distraught"

Dumbledore's expression promised the werewolf retribution, but then became curious

"And yet" He said, puzzled "He still trusted you. How odd"

"I certainly don't understand it" Severus muttered and Dumbledore smiled as Severus clutched Harry even closer

"Protective much Severus?" Dumbledore asked innocently and Severus sneered

"I dare anyone to hurt him" Severus sneered "They'll wish themselves in the grasp of the Dark Lord himself when I'm done with him"

"I don't think I've ever seen you act so with a student. Or anyone for that matter" Dumbledore commented and Severus once again sought the answers in Harry's unconscious form

"That may because I never have" Severus admitted, "What's so special about this child?"

Dumbledore smiled but it had a slight bitterness to it as he was still searching aimlessly for a cure

"I'm afraid, my dear Severus" He said quietly "that that's something even I don't know"

They swept into the hospital wing and Hermione and Ron came out from the corner they had dashed behind to stare blankly first at the door they had entered then at each other

"Well" Ron said eventually, breaking the silence "That was odd"

Hermione simply nodded.

* * *

_To own a corpse_

_

* * *

_  
"Harry?"

He was in the hospital wing. Harry knew that before he opened his eyes. Perhaps, then, he might have overdone it just a little with healing all those people in the hospital. He opened his heavy eyes looking into the blue twinkling ones of his headmaster.

"Hello Professor" Harry said with a yawn

"That was a rather noble thing you did Harry" Dumbledore said kindly "The papers were screaming and Cornelius Fudge was seething"

Dumbledore paused here and Harry knew something was coming

"He has enacted the Orphan Law" Dumbledore told him

"And that means what?" Harry asked blankly

"It is a very old law and, to be honest, should have been wiped out a long time ago- it's just that no one ever bothered to do so. It says that when a child is orphaned before he or she reaches his or her coming of age and the child is exceedingly powerful that he or she will become a ward of the ministry so they may, and I quote, _'Watch over the child'_" Dumbledore explained

"So they wish to adopt me?" Harry asked bluntly

"Basically, yes. The entire process takes up to a month," Dumbledore said, the twinkle brightening

Harry couldn't help it. He burst out laughing

"What are they going to do" Harry laughed, "Adopt my corpse?"

Dumbledore smiled

"I thought you may find it distressing but something told me otherwise" Dumbledore said and Harry smiled

"In any case" Dumbledore said "I suggest you act a little upset if you don't want to arouse suspicion. The only way to stop the law from being enacted is for someone else to adopt you. The trouble with that is they have to ask _you_ and not the other way round. It also must be a genuine offer so all those after your fame and wealth won't even bother. You'll naturally have to agree to be adopted but as I can only think the Weasley's would make an honest offer, try to act as though you do not expect to be adopted as well as a little saddened by it"

Harry nodded

"I doubt I'll get many genuine offers anyway," He admitted "And it wouldn't really matter if I did. I'm guessing the ministry only want to adopt me to control me and I imagine that will become very difficult when I die"

"Yes" Dumbledore agreed cheerfully "That would make it a trifle more complicated"

Harry grinned and Tom snickered a single, truthful word

_"Fools"_

_

* * *

_

_The thing you fear the most_

_

* * *

_

Acting moody and downtrodden was remarkably easy especially since somewhere during the course of the hideous day known as Monday his scar had started to burn. Harry knew immediately he was feeling the echoes of Voldemort's pain and it was not long until he began having slight dizzy spells. Everyone tried to cheer him up and the Weasley's did, indeed, offer to adopt him. Harry was quite adamant with his refusal.

Even Draco Malfoy was trying to bring him up in his own way and they had had a fierce one on one Quidditch match. Even though Harry had, in reality, enjoyed it immensely and had kicked Draco's ass, it had been remarkably draining and caused a very bad dizzy spell. This, the scar coupled with the ever-throbbing seed created one hell of a headache. It hadn't been that hard to act as though it had only cheered him up a little.

Harry also made of show of eating nothing at all during meals, though of course, he was smart enough to go down to the kitchens and eat when he was sure no one was looking.

It was Wednesday before Harry thought he could believably drop the façade. There was no way in hell he was going to spend his last week and a half on earth _pretending_ that he was sulking about the Ministry wanting to make him a ward when in reality he found the whole thing tremendously funny.

Absorbed so in his thoughts (and not touching his dinner) Harry didn't' notice Severus Snape until he was right behind him and Severus' only relation when he had jumped a mile in shock had been a raised eyebrow and a calm

"Follow me"

Curious, Harry did so. Severus led him into a classroom that had a box. The box was shaking.

"I have noticed you have been a little down recently," Severus said in what could be thought of as concern

"That's true Professor" Harry lied "but it was never a lifelong dream of mine to be adopted by the Ministry"

"Of that I have no doubt" Severus said mildly "And if you so wish you may address me less formally when we are alone"

Harry blinked, not understanding at first what Severus was offering

"You mean call you by your first name?" Harry asked in surprise

"Surely it cannot be so difficult Harry" Severus said calmly and Harry could swear he was teasing him "We have been spending an adequate amount of time together"

Harry wondered if Dumbledore would be telling him to call him _'Albus'_ anytime soon

For some reason though that seemed a lot more odd than calling the Potions Master _'Severus'_. Calling him that seemed almost expected. Almost normal. Almost instinctive.

Harry decided not to analyze it

"That we have, Severus" Harry said, the name sounding like a different language from his lips. Foreign, exotic and almost forbidden.

"In any case" Severus continued, back on topic- whatever that was "I have thought tackling a Bogart might let loose your pent up feelings, release some energy and let you use some easy but satisfying magic"

Harry blinked. Had he actually been annoyed at the ministry and not amused, this would have been the perfect thing to cheer him up. It seemed that he_ had_ been spending a lot of time with the Potions Master after all.

"Thank you" He whispered, suddenly at loss of what to say. Severus seemed to understand (he always seemed to understand) because he nodded and, with a short flick of his ebony wand, opened the box.

For a moment nothing emerged. Harry felt no coldness, no despair, and no sadness. Nothing. It puzzled him for only a moment. Then his fear glided gracefully out.

Not a dementor, not a monster, not a creature – not even Lord Voldemort.

A boy.

Tom Riddle.

"Hello Harry" Tom greeted, looking around as though curious to how he got there

"Hello" Harry greeted, slightly shocked

Tom looked him up and down before tilting his head to the side slightly

"You've grown" Tom commented, "Still look exactly like me, I see. If anything the likeness has grown. If not for our eyes, we'd be twins. We really aren't so different, you and I"

Harry automatically bristled

"We are nothing alike" He said neutrally though his eyes were narrowed

"Ahhh" Tom said knowingly "You see, that's why I am here. You must be puzzled. I am your worst fear because you still fear being to much like me." Tom scoffed "Even your _fears_ are noble."

"I apologize but I don't take pleasure in maiming people" Harry spat sarcastically and Tom smirked

"Very nice Harry. That was very Slytherin of you. Perhaps that sorting hat was right"

"How do I get rid of you?" Harry muttered rhetorically. Tom answered

"Accept me" Tom said simply "Your getting there Harry. You've accepted your Slytherin side, you've even taken on a Slytherin conscious. But you haven't accepted that you are like me. Two people can be everything alike and totally different at the same time. You don't seem to understand that. You hate being like me. You're ashamed. Your ashamed of something you cannot help. Your ashamed of who you are. Don't be"

"Have you realized" Harry asked, calmly now "That you always seem to give me advice?"

"Yes" Tom said dryly "And I find it remarkably ironic"

Harry, thinking it was time to vanquish the Bogart, fixed his mind on an image and flicked his wand. Tom's robes turned from Slytherin to Gryffindor. Harry burst out laughing at Tom's horrified expression. The Bogart exploded. He turned to a mildly shocked Severus

"What was all that about?" Severus asked

"My worst fear seems to have changed" Harry said simply

"Well obviously" Severus said dryly "Who on earth was that?"

"Tom Marvello Riddle" Harry said simply. Severus looked as though he was trying to place the name

"Lord Voldemort before he turned" Harry explained

"You fear Voldemort _before_ he was turned?" Severus asked incredulously

"That is when we were most alike, as he is constantly pointing out to me. I met him in the form of a memory in second year" Harry clarified

Severus contemplated that and Harry wondered anxiously if this would be the thing that Severus rejected him for

"_You_ were almost placed in _Slytherin_?" Severus finally cried

Harry smiled

* * *

_The simple things in life_

_

* * *

_  
Harry dropped the act after that, becoming once more his cheerful self and had been heard to proclaim (rather loudly) _'Fuck the Ministry!'_ to anyone who heard- which was basically everyone. It was soon the weekend and Harry, for once, had an absolutely perfect idea of what he wanted to do

Absolutely nothing

He had never really had a weekend where he could just sit back, kick his feet up and stare at a wall for hours on end. Usually it was all _'Voldemort this'_ and _'Voldemort that'_. Harry wanted a completely Voldemort free weekend and while his scar made this somewhat more difficult he was quite determined.

He was also adamant about making his friends join him. They didn't do nearly enough things together and it was about time they did nothing as a group

And yes, Harry did realize how odd that sounded.

Hermione was the most reluctant (Ron had been almost too easy to convince) but she had been working so hard lately that Harry eventually convinced her she needed a day off.

It did wonders for Harry

They lazed around the common room chatting, read a novel (Hermione), played chess (Ron) and flew (Harry) they even went down to the lake and watched the clouds, something Harry had never really indulged himself in doing.

"Hey guys?" Harry said on Sunday while they lay near the roaring fire doing, naturally, absolutely nothing

"Yes Harry?" Hermione asked, much more relaxed. This weekend had done her good and Harry suspected she knew that

"Do you believe in heaven?" Harry asked softly

"Yes" They both said simultaneously

"What do you think it is?" Harry asked

"I think it's just a place where you can be happy and rest" Ron said simply, "Where you can watch over those you love and be surrounded by magic all the time"

"Mine's more a muggle view" Hermione said thoughtfully "I think it's whatever you want it to be. Where you are free and there is only peace and harmony and beauty. Where you can be happy forever and understand the sheer complexity of life"

Harry thought on that

"I hope my parents are there," He said absently, only partially because he needed a reason to ask such a question in the first place

"I'm sure they are" Hermione said "And they must be really proud of you"

Harry reminisced that although they did nothing the whole weekend they seemed to have gotten a lot of important things out of it

He wondered at the irony of that

* * *

_**TBC...**_

* * *


	7. Thicker Than Water

**Summery-** The point of building a house of cards is to see it reach the sky before it tumbles into ruin. Sometimes all you need is a little motivation and a touch of fate to do what you always wished to do. Harry gets some startling news and decides that its time to put his life into order. Armed only with a voice in his head that sounds remarkably like Tom Riddle, and a _'To Do'_ list Harry sets out to set the pieces in place.

Incudes sadness, determination, betrayal by one thought an angel and love by one thought a demon. A bittersweet story that shows you how love, in all its purity, can solve almost anything, that some things last through life, death and whatever the hell follows afterwards- that the point of the cards is not to fall, but to touch the sky...

**Parings-** Hermione/Ron and (if you really, really squint) implied Ginny/Draco. No pairings for Harry and the two listed are simply background pairings. Harry is the main character- his pov and all

**Warnings-** Spoilers for all but the latest book. This is Harry's sixth year.

**A/N-** The second last chapter, all! Almost there now! Been a nice ride and while I wish I had more reviews I really enjoyed writing this story as I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please read and review, you comments keep me going!

-Nat rulz

_Blood, I'm told, is thick indeed  
But your heart, it is the keeper  
_And though it is a constant need  
_Some things run so much deeper  
Love, it makes you light  
It will spin you into space  
I can make you fall or fight  
Or feel so out of place_  
'Family' _is just a word_  
'Father' _is a feeling_  
'Mother'_, it cannot be heard  
The words, they have no meaning  
Sometimes, you don't chose  
Some things you always know  
In your heart you never loose  
__For some things never go._

**Chapter Seven: Thicker Than Water**

"Are you alright Harry?"

Harry wasn't all right. In fact, he felt pretty awful. The dizzy spells were getting worse and Harry was at a loss at what to do. It didn't help that potions was probably not the best time to be feeling such things

"Professor Snape!"

Hermione's panicked call went unnoticed by him as did the numerous calls of Severus saying his name. Eventually he was swept into a strong embrace and carried gently from the room. The world did eventually stop spinning but by then Severus was already setting him down on a hospital bed and Promfrey was already performing a multitude of spells under her breath.

"I'm alright" Harry insisted, already getting grips on the world. Promfrey suddenly stopped spelling and froze

"Leave us Severus," she said calmly but firmly. Severus hesitated a moment then nodded and left. Promfrey cast a silencing spell

"You're dying," She said bluntly

"I know" Harry said simply "I've known for nearly two months now"

She seemed to absorb that

"Something… a seed of some sort… its draining your power. It must be connected to something because there is tension there. It's like the seed was cut in half but this thread keeps it connected. The thread is taking all your energy. You could break the thread. That would halt the process and you could recover normally… the fact is though, it probably cannot be broken and even if it could, the backlash of cutting something tied to you so intimately would…"

"Probably kill me" Harry finished for her "I know this. The seed is a gift from Voldemort" Harry smirked "Good news is I got him back"

Promfrey nodded distractedly

"You are feeling dizzy because of your failing energy. Your magic should be fine but I wouldn't do anything major just in case." She said as she walked to the storage cupboard and, after much rummaging around, pulled out a vial

"This potion will stop the dizzy spells," She told him "It won't lengthen your life span and you'll still have some side effects of your draining energy. You'll feel tired for one; your appetite will fade slightly for another. Your skin should also pale. I gather you wish to keep your impending demise a secret?" She questioned, sounding shaky at the thought. Harry smiled reassuringly

"Yes please" He replied

"Then say your recovering from an unusual virus. That could certainly explain the dizzy spells. Tell them that the medication I gave you works very slowly and you should be better in a little more than a week" she said

"I'm due to die this Friday" Harry told her "So that will gave me more than enough time"

She nodded, suddenly seeming very sad

"You have been in this room more than any patient I have ever had" She whispered softly "I shall miss you Harry"

Harry smiled and Promfrey shook her head and went outside where Harry could hear her calling Severus in

"What seems to be the problem?" Severus asked, a trace of worry in his eyes

"Virus" Harry said with a shrug "But Madam Promfrey says I'll be right as rain by next week. I'll be feeling tired though. The potion acts slowly"

Severus nodded, gracefully taking a seat

"Not been having a good week I see" Severus mused "What with the Ministry planning to adopt you sometime next week. Even for them that's exceedingly soon"

"They want to act before someone offers to adopt me" Harry said simply "This way someone would have to ask me before Wednesday for anything after that may be looked at as too rash an action and done only so the adoption wouldn't occur. Since I'm at school it is highly unlikely someone will be able to pose such an offer"

"For once the Ministry makes sense," Severus muttered

"Lucky me" Harry said with a bitter smile

"You may be adopted" Severus pointed out but Harry scoffed

"By someone not after my fame and money? Unlikely. I'm resigned to my fate" Harry said with a shrug "The Ministry will be very sorry indeed once I'm through with them"

"What if someone asked who was not after your fame and money?" Severus inquired

"You mean like the Weasley's?" Harry asked, "Well the thing is that, although they care for me, they don't really understand me. Another fact is they simply cannot afford it. Even if they could, the one to adopt me would have to realize what a flight risk I am. Voldemort could come and kill me tomorrow for all I know. The one who adopted me would have to understand me heart and soul as well as recognize that it may not last very long"

"What if you found someone who did?" Severus asked

"In three days?" Harry returned, wondering, even though he knew he was dying, if he would be tempted "Seems unlikely. And even if someone did- who?"

"Me perhaps?" Severus said quietly

Harry's first response was to blink

So was his second

"You want to adopt me?" Harry asked blankly

"I have become fond of you Harry" Severus said, direct as always though he seemed to have a nervous edge to his voice "I would like you to consider it"

"Even though I am a flight risk and a Potter and the son of your worst enemy?" Harry asked bluntly

"Yes" Severus said simply

Harry felt a rush flow through him. One of warmness and light and… one he didn't really want to identify. He had been spending time with Severus and they had come to know each other so well. He trusted Severus, he looked up to Severus

Perhaps he even loved him

But was it fair to let Severus adopt him when it would be such a fleeting thing?

"I am honored" Harry admitted, and he was "But I don't know…"

Severus was as patient as always

"You have to Wednesday, Harry" He said mildly "Please think on it"

As Severus swept from the room Harry wondered if he could do anything _but_ think on it

Tom didn't seem to think so

* * *

_Better to have loved and lost?_

_

* * *

_

Harry spent so much time in the Headmaster's office that he couldn't help but wonder if he had broken any records. He had certainly been in there more than any student to pass through Hogwart's walls so surely he should get a medal or something.

Especially for coming voluntarily

"Harry" Dumbledore greeted merrily "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Severus has asked to adopt me," Harry said, feeling detached and bodiless

Dumbledore blinked

"And you said?" He asked expectantly

"I said I'd think about it" Harry admitted

There was a long silence

"I gather you are apprehensive about this seeing as you are uncertain as to your fate?" Dumbledore inquired gently and Harry nodded

"If I may be so bold then Harry, what would you have said if you were more certain of a long and prosperous life?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes never leaving Harry's own

Harry hesitated, thinking seriously about the question

"Yes" He said reluctantly "I care for Severus deeply and if he adopted me I think I could see him as the father I never had"

"So why don't you agree?" Dumbledore asked politely

"Because I plan to drop dead in a few days time" Harry said sharply then sighed at how heartbroken Dumbledore looked after that outburst "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for"

"Severus knows the risk Harry" Dumbledore whispered, "He knows what he's getting into. Surely you have the right to pass on with a family to mourn you? Everyone needs a parent Harry. You need not protect him. If Severus knew without a doubt that you were going to die tomorrow he still would have asked you. He's like that"

"I know" Harry whispered, "He's as stubborn as I am"

Dumbledore smiled slightly

"I'll have the papers ready tomorrow should you agree" He said, eyes regaining their spark

Harry thought as he left that the Headmaster always seemed to have exactly what he wanted even if he didn't want it

Whether he was annoyed or thankful was yet to be established.

* * *

_Is that hereditary?_

_

* * *

_  
Due to the fact that the fate was constantly conspiring against him Harry didn't have potions until last thing on Tuesday which meant he had spent the entirety of the day worrying over what the hell he was going to say to Severus.

"Class dismissed" a familiar voice called

Speaking of which

"Coming Harry?" Hermione asked, slinging her bag elegantly onto her back

"No, I need to speak to Severus" Harry said

"Severus?" Hermione asked in surprise, her movements halting. Harry nodded. Hermione, looking curious, left reluctantly. Harry waited till the class had emptied and, as the door closed, waited patiently for Severus to acknowledge him

"Harry?" Severus said when he finally noticed him, a silent question in his voice. Harry could swear he saw a spark of hope in those obsidian eyes

"Yes" He whispered. Severus stared at him for a long time

"Pardon?" He asked quietly, voice uncertain

"My answer" Harry clarified "Is yes"

Severus took a deep, rattling breath and Harry realized that Severus had expected to be rejected

"Only if the offer is still on the table" Harry assured him softly "I'll understand should you retract it"

"I was serious when I asked you Harry" Severus insisted, still sounding a little shocked "The offer is still there"

"You really want to adopt me?" Harry asked, self-consciousness peaking through

"I want to adopt you by the Adoption Blood Ritual" Severus said firmly. Harry's eyes widened as such a thing was as good as being related by blood. In some cases the adoptee even inherited some of his new families traits

"I hope insanity isn't hereditary," He muttered

Severus actually laughed

Harry found himself basking in the sound

* * *

_How long do you swear this?_

_

* * *

_  
"Harry, Severus what a surprise"

The way Dumbledore sounded Harry knew their presence in his office was exactly the opposite

"Hello Professor" Harry said politely

"Please Harry, call me Albus," The Headmaster said amicably

Harry stared for a moment then nodded; not missing Severus' amused expression

"I expect you know why were here… er… Albus" Harry said, fumbling slightly over the word and blushing.

Albus and Severus laughed at him with their eyes, which annoyed Harry to no end.

"Of course" Dumbledore said, seeming to take pity on him as he rummaged through his draws and pulled out some official looking documents

"I wish to do a Blood Adoption" Severus said plainly

Dumbledore looked at him in surprise before his eyes practically exploded with twinkling. Harry sighed

"Of course. First sign this" Dumbledore said good-naturedly, pushing the documents over to Severus who read them carefully before signing in all the designated places and handing them to Harry who simply skimmed it (very shoddily) and signing it neatly

They had to sign a few other documents and some more than once since there were extra copies as such contracts could not be doubled or manipulated by magic. After everything was in order Dumbledore stood and left the room. He returned minutes later sporting an intricate dagger and handed it to Severus who slashed his right palm effortlessly before handing it to Harry who (with a deep breath and a flinch) did the same. They clasped their hands together and Dumbledore spoke as their blood and magic began to react

"Who wishes to claim this child?" Dumbledore asked, wand moving in a complex design

"I, Severus Sebastian Snape claim this child. I know what it is I do and am right of mind, body and soul. I swear to honor him, to love him, to care for him, to treat him as though he were my son as long as I shall live." Severus recited

"Who wishes to be claimed?" Dumbledore said

"I, Harry James Potter wish to be claimed. I know what it is I do and am right of mind, body and soul. I swear to honor him, to love him, to care for him, to treat him as though he were my father as long as I shall live" Harry said, carefully parroting Severus' words in case they were part of the ritual. If the glow coming from their clasped hands were any indication then it was.

"How long do you swear this, Severus Snape? How long will you uphold your oath?" Dumbledore asked, wand still moving in intricate patterns

"Until the sun dies, until the sky falls, until hell does freeze. Forever and always" Severus said

"How long do you swear this, Harry Potter? How long will you uphold your oath?" Dumbledore said

With a gentle prod Severus told him by his mind that his answer was his own and not structured by tradition

"Eternity" Harry whispered feeling that word had just escalated further in meaning "Through life, through death and whatever the hell follows"

"So mote it be," Dumbledore whispered

Harry felt an odd sensation then there was a burst of light so intense it blinded him

Then everything simply…

Fell

* * *

_The power of a word_

_

* * *

_  
"Harry?"

Harry's eyes flickered open to stare into the ebony black orbs of Severus Snape. Harry blinked as his memory returned

"That was weird" He commented noticing that he was, once more, in the hospital Wing

They should just move him in there and be done with it

"Yes" Severus agreed, "It was a rather volatile reaction. I, myself, just awoke. It seems the spell bonded us rather forcefully, _my son_"

He seemed to say the last part pointedly, reminding Harry just how intimate a thing they did

"What am I to call you now?" Harry inquired

"Dad is out of the question," Severus said with a sour face and Harry hid a smile, trying to imagine calling the black robed figure _'dad'_ "One, it simply does not suit me and two, James Potter was your biological father who gave his life for you. He was your dad and I refuse to allow myself to replace that. You can, however, call me Father"

"Your not the dad type anyway" Harry said, voice filled with mirth, making Severus sniff indignantly "But I could certainly stand to call you father"

"Try to refrain from doing so in class" Severus said, grimacing

"Not that it would mater" Harry said, rather amused "Your reputation is no doubt lost forever"

"I shall have to work twice as hard to reclaim it then" Severus commented

Harry felt sorry for any person not in Slytherin

"So how long were we out?" Harry asked, stretching

"It is now noon, Wednesday" Severus said

"Really?" Harry asked, surprised "But we preformed it Tuesday afternoon"

Severus simply shrugged

"Lucky we did it then" Harry remarked, "Today would have been the deadline and I don't know if it counts if it had lingered onto Thursday"

Severus nodded looking thoughtful

"However will you tell your friends?" He asked evilly

"Oh crap" Harry muttered quietly

Severus had the audacity to smile

* * *

_All things change; nothing perishes_

_

* * *

_

"I've been adopted"

The words rang through the room of requirement, which, to Harry's relief, was not in the least bit white. Ron and Hermione stared at him in disbelief for a moment before Hermione broke into a smile and threw her arms around him, hugging him fiercely

"Congratulations!" She cried

"By who?" Ron asked, a little slower than Hermione in his recovery from shock.

"_Brace yourself," _Tom cautioned. Harry wondered if he were serious

"Severus Snape"

He waited for the outburst. He waited for the yelling. He waited for the insults

His friends, however, seemed quite content to stare at him in disbelief

"Oh" Hermione said eventually. Her eyes suddenly went distant, as though seeing something very far off and she absently began playing with the friendship necklace he had given her "I hope you'll be happy with him"

She sounded so sincere that Harry blinked

"I will be" He assured her "He understands me"

"I think your mad" Ron said bluntly but he, too, looked as though he was seeing something else "But as long as your happy. He does seem fond of you"

"Okay" Harry said suspiciously "What aren't you telling me?"

"We saw him carry you after you wore yourself out at the Hospital. The scene we saw would have convinced anyone. I've never seen Professor Snape so caring and possessive. Even Dumbledore mentioned it" Hermione explained and Harry blinked

"What did he say?" Harry asked curiously, wondering what could placate his friends in such a manner

"It was more how he held you than anything. As though you were the most precious and valuable thing on earth. He said he was fond of you and that he's never felt anything so strongly for anyone" Hermione said, thinking

"He also insulted you" Ron added but then frowned "But it sounded affectionate. Like a teasing nickname. He called you a stupid Gryffindor but by his voice and the gentleness of his hands, he may have well have showered you with praises"

Harry smiled, feeling a sense of warmth and a fierce pride rush through him

"I have a father," He said as though he had just won the Olympics. His eyes lost focus, and it was his turn to look at something far off as he whispered, voice barely audible, the words he had always wanted to utter

"I have a family"

* * *

**_TBC..._**

* * *


	8. The Power of Love

**Summery-** The point of building a house of cards is to see it reach the sky before it tumbles into ruin. Sometimes all you need is a little motivation and a touch of fate to do what you always wished to do. Harry gets some startling news and decides that its time to put his life into order. Armed only with a voice in his head that sounds remarkably like Tom Riddle, and a _'To Do'_ list Harry sets out to set the pieces in place.

Incudes sadness, determination, betrayal by one thought an angel and love by one thought a demon. A bittersweet story that shows you how love, in all its purity, can solve almost anything, that some things last through life, death and whatever the hell follows afterwards- that the point of the cards is not to fall, but to touch the sky...

**Parings-** Hermione/Ron and (if you really, really squint) implied Ginny/Draco. No pairings for Harry and the two listed are simply background pairings. Harry is the main character- his pov and all

**Warnings-** Spoilers for all but the latest book. This is Harry's sixth year.

**A/N-** Hurrah! Last chapter! And to celebrate, its my longest one yet! Yayness! (No, that isn't a real word. I can make them up if i want to, darn it!) I hope you've all enjoyed reading this story. I don't mean to sound clich'ed but I enjoyed writing it! Please enjoy it and remember to read and review! A special thanks goes out to all that did-- you made this story worth while! Thank you!

-Nat rulz

_Love's the most powerful thing there is  
More powerful than any word  
For love, it is a feeling  
Not something to be heard  
It hides inside the deepest heart  
It coils there like a beast  
It slumbers until one comes along  
On which the thing will feast  
Love can save a weeping man  
And heal the unseen scars  
It can trap you out of sight  
Or erode all of your bars  
It can be the cause of death_  
_It can even cause a war  
But fighting and blood and hate  
Well, that's not what love's for  
Love's a feeling, a knowing ache  
That can both cause and end your strife  
It holds such power in its hands  
That it can even save your life._

**Chapter Eight: The Power of Love**

It was Thursday.

Harry tried not to think of the fact that he only had a little over a day to live. Fawkes and Emerald were wonders at distracting him but there was one thing on his list that he had yet to do

Write his letters

He couldn't write everyone a letter. It would take away the significance of receiving one. He had already written a will and that was where he would acknowledge anyone he didn't write a letter to. A letter was more intimate, more touching.

They could keep a letter.

In the end he chose to only write four.

To Severus, his father in everything but name. His mentor, the one who was there for him. The one who had done something no one else had done and offered him a home.

To Dumbledore, his mentor and protector. The one he had always counted on in times of strife. The one who had been there and supported him no matter what.

To Hermione, his sister, his kindred spirit. The one who stuck by him and lectured him. The one who was honest and caring and mothering and the one who had always been willing to share her vast array of knowledge

To Ron, his brother and first ever friend. The one who had stuck by him in thick and in thin. The one who had wavered slightly but who had always, in the end, returned by his side. The one who joked with him and played with him and kicked his ass in chess.

He had never done anything with all his heart and soul as much as he had written these letters. A strong sealing and anchoring charm insured that the intended parties would not be able to open them until he lost consciousness, where the thread between him and the spell keeping the envelopes shut would snap and the letters would open. It took him the better part of the day to write them.

Now all he had to do was deliver them.

* * *

_To my dearest Hermione_

_

* * *

_

Harry found his first target finally alone in the library reading up on what appeared to be Transfiguration

"Hey Hermione" Harry said casually

"Hey Harry" She replied absently, turning a page

"Could I please have your attention for a moment?" Harry requested, amused

"Sure" She agreed, reluctantly looking away from the book.

For a moment Harry only studied her. She had grown into a beautiful woman. Her hair had grown out of the frizzy-ness slightly; she was curvy in all the right places having a well-shaped figure and intelligent brown eyes. Harry thought her very beautiful indeed and if she had been his type and had he not thought of her as a sister, Ron would have been in a lot of trouble.

"Harry?" Hermione said, interrupting his musing and looking at him curiously. "What are you doing?"

Harry smiled and took her hands

"Admiring the beautiful witch you have become" He said warmly causing Hermione to smile and blush lightly "You are brilliant and radiant and if I had a sister I would want her to be exactly like you"

Hermione seemed flattered but confused by his words

"You know you mean the world to me, don't you?" Harry asked her seriously and Hermione nodded, appearing uncertain

"Yes, of course" She said sounding as though she wanted to know the reason behind this conversation

Harry pulled out his friendship charm and fiddled with it

"I meant what I said Hermione." He said as he took out the letter and handed it over. Hermione immediately tried to open it only to find that she couldn't. She looked at him, puzzled

"It'll open when the time is right" Harry assured her "Just promise me, and this is very important Hermione, promise me that you'll carry it with you until it opens. No matter what. Don't put it down"

Hermione seemed puzzled but nodded and slipped the letter into her pocket. Satisfied, Harry stood

"Don't mention this to anyone" He told her then, in spur of the moment, bent down and brushed his lips against hers in a chaste, platonic kiss

"I wish you love and happiness till the end of your days," He said as he pulled away, putting some magic in those words that would gift her with luck. He walked from the library leaving a startled Hermione who suddenly found the Transfiguration text to be quite unimportant and uninteresting.

She raised a hand to her lips.

* * *

_To my dearest Ron_

_

* * *

_  
Harry found his second target in their dorm searching around his trunk for something that was obviously being quite stubborn about being found

"What you doing Ron?" Harry asked curiously

"Looking for my Potions text. We have it next and I can't find it" Ron cried, sounding frustrated "You seen it?"

"_Accio Potions Text"_ Harry said lazily and a rather battered text book shot out from out of under the bed and into his hand where he then handed it to a blushing Ron

"Thanks" He mumbled

"You're my best mate Ron" Harry said, "I couldn't wish for a better brother and friend. You mean the world to me and I hope your happy with 'Mione in the future"

Ron lifted a brow

"You right mate?" he asked

"I'm fine" Harry said, slightly exasperated "I just want you to know how much you mean to me"

"Course I know" Ron insisted "I feel the same way"

"Good" Harry said bluntly as he handed over the letter. Ron, too, tried to open it and frowned when he couldn't

"It will open at the right time" Harry told him "But promise me you'll carry it everywhere Ron. I'm serious. Never let it go until it opens"

"I promise" Ron said, sounding puzzled. Harry nodded his satisfaction

"Tell no one of this" Harry cautioned and when Ron nodded he stepped towards him and captured him in a fierce hug before he turned around and calmly left the room

A rather shocked Ron gazed blankly after him

* * *

_My dearest Severus_

_

* * *

_  
"Class dismissed"

Harry wondered if his father always dismissed the class in exactly the same way. He stayed behind, waiting once more for the class to be deserted before he approached him

"Father" He greeted, still unused to the word

"Harry" Severus replied, looking up from his desk "What can I do for you?"

Harry didn't know what to say. He and Severus understood each other so well that perhaps he didn't have to say anything. He wouldn't have to tell Severus the letter would open when it was time. Severus would know. He didn't need to tell him to carry it always. Severus would. He wouldn't have to express how much he cared, admired and maybe even loved him. Severus could tell.

Instead he simply placed the letter on his new father's desk, leaned over the space and pulled Severus in a warm embrace. Severus stiffened in surprise and, after a moment of awkwardness, returned the hug, no doubt utterly bewildered

"Thank you" Harry said simply. He stepped back and left the room leaving a thoroughly perplexed Severus Snape behind him.

Severus pocketed the letter

* * *

_My dearest Albus_

_

* * *

_  
Out of all his targets the Headmaster was the easiest to approach. He simply walked up the Head Table at the end of dinner, handed him the letter told him to open it _'after the event'_, gave him a brief hug and left

Albus Dumbledore looked rather puzzled staring after him.

* * *

_Even the best fall down_

_

* * *

_  
It was Friday. Harry had never felt so exhausted. He was rather relieved he had the excuse of a _'fever'_ because his friends were gracing him with worried looks that his letter episode had probably not helped to corrode.

The timing was uncertain so Harry threw everything he had into living. He smiled, he laughed, he joked, he was absolutely and truly happy.

If anyone noticed that he was acting brighter than usual they decided not to comment on it.

As the day passed Harry could actually feel the seed draining his power. It took all his concentration not to stumble as he walked and his body and mind felt as if they had not rested properly in months. Harry desperately wanted to lie down but knew for a fact that it would bring death on faster and though he accepted it he refused to go down to something Voldemort created without a fight.

At midday he was reaching the end of his reserves and, during the walk to the Great Hall after Defense Against the Dark Arts, his friends noticed just how bad it was.

"Are you alright Harry? It's the virus isn't it? Do you need help?" Hermione offered

"I need to get to the Great Hall" Harry said, his voice sounding weak even to him. He stumbled again and, if not for Ron, he would have fallen

"I think you better go to the Hospital Wing mate," Ron said uncertainly but Harry stubbornly shook his head

"The Great Hall" He persisted

Seeming very reluctant, Hermione and Ron helped him to the Great Hall. As soon as Dumbledore saw them he rushed forward to meet them in the center and drew Harry towards him

"Harry" Dumbledore cried, sounding more urgent than anyone had ever heard him and causing Severus to rise and walk over "Harry, you have to fight it! As much as you can child! If you out last Tom it might weaken the connection"

Harry shook his head with an eerily calm smile

"No Albus" He whispered, but everyone in the now silent hall heard him "He has done a lot to try and strengthen it."

"Hush child" Dumbledore said quietly.

Harry suddenly cried out, scar bursting in absolute agony and he slumped forward into the Headmaster's arms

"Voldemort's gone," Harry said causing whispers to break out "It shouldn't be much longer now. He was more affected than me"

"You did it Harry" Dumbledore said proudly, a single tear escaping his eye "You beat him. I am so, so proud of you"

Harry smiled and looked from a saddened Dumbledore, to a worried Severus, to a confused Ron and a fearful Hermione

"Take care of them for me Albus" Harry said, voice clear with this command "Look after my family"

Harry tried desperately to fight it but he found himself sinking into a black oblivion and distantly he felt his body fall forwards only to be caught be gentle hands.

Dumbledore lifted Harry gently, holding him as though he would break at the slightest tremor. A fierce, determined glint was in his eyes and he knew that, although Harry would be in a coma for only a couple of hours, there was still the chance he could save him

Even in his determination he knew how slim the chance was

He turned to the whispering hall

"Lord Voldemort id dead" He called, silencing it immediately "For the present that is all you need to know. I shall keep you updated"

With that he swept urgently from the room Ron, Hermione and Severus only just having the sense to follow blindly behind him

The hall broke out in chaos

* * *

_A letter from the heart_

_

* * *

_  
Dumbledore placed Harry gently on the hospital bed and only vaguely noticed Severus, Hermione and Ron gathering around him. Severus looked quite agitated

"Sir? What's wrong with Harry?" Hermione whispered

Dumbledore closed his eyes, as though in physical pain

"I suggest" He whispered, gaze never leaving Harry's face "That now would be the time to read those letters"

They looked surprised but everyone, including Dumbledore, retracted their letter from Harry and read

**Dumbledore's Letter:**

_My Dearest Albus,_

_I pondered for a long time how I could possible say everything I needed to in a simple letter but I feel I must. Words can be quite powerful and if I must die I would rather you have something to remember me by. _

_You were always there Albus. I know, at times, you blame yourself for the troubles I have faced. My relatives, Voldemort, the constant dangers at the school. I wish you to know that I do not blame you. You did what you think was best and that is enough. I've never had someone look after my personal interest before. You might not have succeeded in everything but humans rarely do and you, my dearest headmaster, are simply human at the end of the day._

_So rather than blame you for everything, I thank you for it. Because of all the good things in my life and even all the bad things (perhaps especially the bad things) have made me into the man I am today- though I am quite certain you shall always refer to me as _'child'_ and _'boy'

_I want you to know that, in some ways, I am yours. You saved me time and time again Albus. You released me from myself and let me know that it's okay to be who I am. Yes, I am a Gryffindor. Yes, I am a Slytherin. Yes, I am proud and stubborn and brave and sly. Yes I am so very much like a certain Tom Marvello Riddle, and that's okay. We all have our strengths. We all have our faults_

_Even you_

_Your (I'm going to be presumptuous and say _'favorite'_) student,_

_Harry James Potter-Snape _

**Ron's Letter:**

_My dearest Ron,_

_I'm sure your rather puzzled right about now so I will not waste words. I am dying. Perhaps, since you are reading this, I have already passed on._

_Isn't odd, friend of mine, how it was you that sat with me on our very first ride in the Hogwarts express? I wonder how different our fate might have been had you chosen another compartment._

_You were always there for me Ron, you were my first ever friend. Though we had our fights and our arguments, no matter what was happening or what others were saying about me you always stuck by my side at the end of the day. _

_I know you'll miss me Ron. Or at least I hope so. I don't fear dying so I hope you can learn to accept it. I had warning, which is more than I can say for a lot of people. It has been both a blessing and a curse. I have tied up all my loose ends. I hope you can learn to enjoy life without me. I'll always be with you Ron. Live for me._

_I feel obliged to give you some brotherly advice and I may as well be clichéd about it. Life is like a game of chess. Think and study the patterns before you move- a pawn may be the difference between failure and victory. _

_Keep our friendship chain Ron. Remember what it means._

_Your friend for all eternity_

_Harry James Potter-Snape_

_P.S. Hurt Hermione and I'll be forced to haunt you._

**Hermione's Letter:**

_My dearest Hermione,_

_No doubt your rather curious right about know so I shall be lenient and explain. I am dying. When Voldemort took over my body in the Ministry of Magic he left a seed in my mind. Although he did not complete the spell the seed still slowly drained me of my life and energy. _

_On the brighter side Voldemort accidentally infected himself as well. Not to mention I left my own seed by mistake. You won't have to put up with him any longer._

_You are my sister, Hermione, you are my kindred spirit, you have never wavered on our path together and I thank you for that. I want you to know that I love you, heart and soul. I know you have been worried about me and you need not be so. After all that I have done I should hope very much I make it to heaven- or wherever death leads you. _

_Thank you for everything my Hermione. My friend. Please treasure our friendship charm and honor the single word that will, now, never again be revealed._

_Your friend for all eternity,_

_Harry James Potter-Snape_

**Severus' Letter:**

_My dearest Severus,_

_I'm afraid I have been unbearably selfish. I had not intended for us to bond so intimately. Not when I knew what was coming. I am dying, Severus. Suffice to say that it's all Voldemort's fault_

_When you asked to adopt me I almost cried. In both happiness and despair. For how could you know? How could you know how fleeting a thing it would be? Surely, had you known, you would have decided against it. And you no doubt wonder why I let you do it_

_Because I craved a family. Because I wanted someone to mourn me. Because I loved you and I was selfish enough to want the honor of being named your son._

_How the walls do crumble. I think we can both detest to that. We were both the salvation and destruction of the other._

_I want you to know that I am more proud than I can honestly hope to express to be named your son. You are the father I never had and had we had more time on this earth together I am positive I would have died for you and you for me_

_I've never really had a parent before, but you were the closest I got_

_I am yours father. Until the sun dies, until the sky falls, until hell does freeze. Forever and always. Through life, through death and whatever the hell follows afterwards_

_For eternity_

_Your loving and devoted only son,_

_Harry James Potter-Snape_

No one spoke for several moments

"I," Severus said firmly "Refuse to let my only son die"

Severus' proclamation seemed to shock everyone out of his or her private reverie over his or her letter

"I have no intention of letting that happen" Dumbledore said firmly "But even I cannot do it alone"

"I'll help" Hermione said immediately, silent tears streaking down her cheeks

"Me too" Ron said stubbornly, voice faltering slightly

Severus merely nodded, silently pledging his assistance

"It is very difficult" Dumbledore warned, "The only way to save him is to break the connection he has with Voldemort"

"But… isn't Voldemort dead? How can he be connected to a corpse?" Hermione inquired

"The connection goes beyond that" Dumbledore explained, "It connects the two body, mind and soul. When Voldemort was but a spirit Harry still held the connection and he currently holds that to Voldemort's soul. No doubt Voldemort's soul has found itself stranded on limbo, not able to move on with such a vital connection tethering it to the earth and yet no way to return"

"But… cutting something that strong might be fatal" Hermione said hesitantly and Dumbledore nodded sadly

"It has a very high percentage of killing him, yes, but lower than the chance he has of survival should we not. It's his only chance and I'm afraid we shall have to risk it"

"There has never existed such a connection," Severus pointed out, frowning heavily with worry "What spell could we possibly cast to break it?"

"None exists" Dumbledore admitted, "There will be no book, spell, potion or anything else to break something that has never even existed. Even ones that serve to break love and blood bonds would not help us in the least since we have a rather short time limit. It would have taken years to manipulate them. Harry's only known of his upcoming demise for two months"

They stared at him

"So what the bloody hell are we supposed to do?" Ron cried, impatient as always. For once Hermione did not reprimand him for his language

"The only thing that can break the connection is love," Dumbledore said bluntly

They all blinked

"Love?" Ron asked pessimistically

"The connection is forged from hate" Dumbledore persisted "if we bombard it with love it may break under the pressure. Voldemort was repeatedly scolded by it and there is no reason why the connection should be any different"

"So how exactly do we do that?" Severus asked, arching a brow

"No idea really" Dumbledore admitted "But a combined spell of declaration of power might do it"

"A what?" Ron asked

"It's a very draining and very powerful spell" Hermione said, obviously awed "All of us would have to, in this case, love Harry with all our heart and soul. The spell should actually force our emotion, magic and some of our life-force into Harry's very being so he becomes overpowered by it. It's only been used three times in history and none of the patients had been dying, nor has the emotion been love. Usually it is only used when someone is grievously drained of energy or darkly cursed and only one person is needed to cast it. Harry not only needs energy and life-force but also needs to have the connection cut- and that connection is no mere dark curse"

Ron seemed to absorb that

"But it could work?" He asked hopefully and Hermione seemed to honestly consider it

"It could" Hermione admitted "But as it's never been used in such a way- it's a little uncertain what the results will be"

"It can hardly turn out any worse" Severus commented simply "And I refuse doing nothing. This is most likely the chance we have"

"Alright everyone" Dumbledore said, for once completely serious "Stand in a circle and place your wand tips on Harry's forehead in a round formation"

Everyone obeyed him, making certain that his or her wand points were touching on Harry's forehead and each tip was connected to the others. Dumbledore studied each person before his gaze settled finally on Severus

"Severus" Dumbledore started then hesitated "You must love Harry to complete the spell. I know you care for him deeply but he has only been your son for two days. This spell is uncertain enough as it is; we have to be very confident of our feelings"

Severus' gaze did not waver

"If there is anyone on this earth I love, it would be this child" He whispered, sounding almost dangerous "I would give my life for him just as I know you would give yours for me. I can do this spell"

Dumbledore studied him for a long moment then nodded

"Very well" He said, "Now I want all of you to close your eyes"

Everyone, including Dumbledore, did so

"Now I want you to picture all the times you have loved Harry. Let it overwhelm you. Let it take you over. Build those feelings up as high as you can"

Dumbledore's voice was a soft whisper, but everyone in the room heard him. There was no doubt that Dumbledore was powerful but his words now seemed drenched with it

"Think of how badly you want him to live, how you would die for him. Think of how you want to purify his body of all evil, how deeply you want to break the connection"

The air was thick with magic and seemed to vibrate from expectation

"Now concentrate on the purity of that and push"

They did

One would think, from the complexity of the spell that it would be long and arduous. One would be wrong

It was quick and subtle and so terrible draining that even as their wands flashed they fell to their knees in exhaustion

Harry wasn't so lucky

Imagine, if you could, a thousand daggers sinking into you flesh. Imagine being held roughly under rising water. Imagine being burned alive by a fire that burned softly enough to make you live for hours. Imagine a thousand transformations from human to werewolf on a single day. Imagine cutting away part of your soul, body and mind with a toothpick. Now times all these reactions by one hundred

You might get something in comparison to the pain that assaulted Harry

His back arching, his fist clenching Harry threw back his head and screamed. And screamed. And screamed.

The power assaulted his body. His scar spit open under the strain. The magic traveled like lightning down the invisible thread. It strained under the pressure of so much magic. Of so much emotion

It snapped

If Harry was screaming before it was nothing compared to the cry he gave now. It was so loud the Slytherin's in the dungeon heard him. It was so loud that the people in Hogsmeade looked, startled, towards the castle. It was so loud that the dead was said to stir in their sleep.

And it kept going

Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron and Severus were covering their ears when, suddenly, it stopped. Harry sank into the bed as though it were quicksand. Severus was at his side in an instant

"Well?" He demanded as Dumbledore stood

"It's broken" Dumbledore said and he checked Harry's pulse "And he's breathing, but barely. He still might not make it. His body has to adjust. Still, the hardest part is over. Its up to Harry now"

Everyone turned his or her gaze to Harry and each had the exact same thought

What on earth was he going through?

* * *

_Beyond the veil_

_

* * *

_  
If Harry had known dying would hurt so bloody much he might have been less easy going about it. It was the most excruciating thing he had ever experienced. So much so that it made _Crucio_ seem merciful in comparison.

Then, as suddenly as it started it stopped

His whole body aching, Harry felt himself drifting into oblivion. He felt like a piece of driftwood, going with the tide of the river all the while being pulled further and further down.

Until, quite suddenly, he stopped. There was no ground he could see (the darkness was so complete he couldn't see his own hands) but his feet rested on something, which Harry thought was peculiar, as, since he had been falling quite rapidly, it should have been impossible to touch down so gently.

"Hello Harry"

Finally fulfilling the promise made those long two moths ago the form of Tom Marvello Riddle stepped gracefully forwards. Harry decided not to try to analyze why he could actually see Tom (as it was so bloody dark) because he knew he would probably not reach a conclusion any time soon.

"Hey Tom" Harry greeted lightly

Tom seated himself cross-legged on the nothingness that they stood upon looking as casual as ever and, with the simple gesture of a titled head, indicating to Harry to join him. Harry did so, seating as close to Tom as he could get as though, in the darkness, Tom was the light.

Harry found such a notion very odd.

"Am I dead yet?" Harry asked curiously. Tom shock his head, amused

"Not yet" He replied "But your very close."

"Will I get to see my family then?" Harry asked curiously

"No" Tom said bluntly "You don't even get to die"

Harry blinked

"Pardon? Why would you have bothered talking to me if I wasn't?" Harry asked, confused

"Because that would defeat the purpose. Everything happens for a reason Harry. Without the seed, Voldemort would still live, Draco Malfoy would remain an enemy, Hermione and Ron would be forever dancing around the other, Albus would never have been lifted of his guilt, Sirius would have never be proclaimed innocent, Peter would never have been captured, those poor people in the hospital would still be there and you and Severus would not have found each other- would you like me to continue?" Tom asked innocently (a very strange picture)

"There's more?" Harry asked in surprise

"Oh yes" Tom clarified "Lots more. You wouldn't believe how intricately everything is linked together. All the things you have accomplished have affected people all over the world. And none of them would have happened without you're near death. The connection had to be broken in such a way. Otherwise, Voldemort's power would have wreaked havoc on some distant plain. Instead, you body gets to absorb it. Lucky you"

"I've absorbed Voldemort's power?" Harry asked nervously

"Yes. One of the reasons breaking the connection hurt so much. It had to go somewhere. If it had been naturally gained it would have passed on with him but since it was manipulated so much it was no longer tied to his form. Once you train up you'll be more powerful than Dumbledore"

Harry didn't know quite what to say to that

"You can't die Harry" Tom said, as though stating the obvious "You are destined to be the next protector of the world. The earth does, after all, need to be left in the hands of someone and I'm afraid you've been chosen. You're near death put everything in place"

Harry maintained his silence

"Of course" Tom added, as though as an afterthought "It won't be for a good many years yet."

"Are you saying" Harry said slowly "That all this was _supposed_ to happen?"

"Of course" Tom said, "Everything is supposed to happen. There wouldn't be a point to it if there was no point"

Harry blinked, wondering if that made sense

"Only thing to do now is to get you back" Tom said thoughtfully

Harry couldn't help but roll his eyes. Tom caught the motion and glared.

"Shut up and close your eyes" Tom snapped irritably.

With an innocent smile Harry did as he was told. He didn't really see the point though. All Tom had to do was leave and he would have been surrounded by darkness far more complete than the one behind his lashes.

"Now find your center" Tom commanded

"Wow Tom, your great at this" Harry said sarcastically, having no idea how to do such a thing "I know exactly what I'm doing"

He heard Tom grumble impatiently in the background

"Its all instinctive" Tom explained, obviously calming down "Just relax Harry. Let yourself drift. When you find it, you'll know. Trust me"

Eyes still closed Harry abandoned all control and allowed his mind to drift inwards, searching around in his minds eye for something he had never seen but would, apparently, know on sight.

Surprisingly, it wasn't that hard. As difficult as finding the sun in the solar system- in reality one really could compare it to a sun. Except that it was the purest green. Perhaps the most strange and beautiful part about it was that it was streaked with black and, oddly enough, white. Harry had the inkling it should have felt warm and familiar and although it felt inexplicitly right… it seemed odd. As though something were different about it. Since Harry had never seen it before he was puzzled about where such a notion had come from. .

"Its your magical core" Tom's voice sounded very far away as it explained what Harry was seeing "It would feel slightly unusual because you've just absorbed all Voldemort's power, literally changing the essence of your core- something that's supposed to be impossible by the way. What colours do you see?"

"Most of it is a vibrant green" Harry described "but there are traces of white and black"

"Curious" Tom said absently "The green is most likely your main center. It would have been changed by this incident, and is most likely a much more vibrant colour because of Voldemort's power. The white are spots of enlightenment and purity. No one can almost die without changing somehow. The black is, of course, the main part of Voldemort's power. Before you ask it doesn't mean evil. It means mystery, cunning and darkness, which isn't the same thing. You'll never be in any danger of turning Harry, so don't be afraid to use your power. There will be times when you'll have to"

Harry tried to absorb that. Remarkably he wasn't too upset that Voldemort had changed his aura. It seemed right the way it was. As though it were finally complete.

"Now, back to getting home" Tom said, as though just remembering why they were doing this in the first place "Concentrate on your magical core. It's tied to your body. Follow the link back"

Surprisingly he didn't have to ask for clarification on what he was supposed to do. There was a thread of power that was connected to the core and had somehow attached itself to him. With a mental hand Harry grasped it. It sent chills up his spine and burned his hands but he refused to let go.

It was a little like climbing up a rope. It contained the same pulling and hand over hand movements that climbing a rope did- it was also just as difficult. He could faintly hear Tom encouragements in the background but it seemed as though he were getting further and further away.

The rope burned him; the darkness collapsed upon him, Tom's voice wavered so very far in the distance and everything seemed to tilt before it simply…

Fell into place.

* * *

_Return to reality_

_

* * *

_  
Harry hurt

That was the first thought that passed through his mind. The fact that he was in a hell of a lot of pain. He struggled mentally as the darkness tried to overwhelm him and, in the end, managed to open his eyes. It seemed they had not bothered removing his glasses because Harry's vision was quite clear

Severus, Dumbledore, Hermione and Ron were all seated around his bed and each and every one of them was fast asleep. They looked so very exhausted that Harry knew they had broken the connection and wondered how they had managed it.

He sat himself up, ignoring the loud protest his body gave to such a tiny movement, and looked at them each in turn, thanking whatever divine powers had given him more time with his family.

Severus began to stir and Harry placed a hand on his

"Father?" He whispered "Wake up"

Severus did so slowly and, when he opened his eyes, Harry found himself pinned by his dark gaze. A second later he was in a strong embrace and clutching back just as tightly

"I'm sorry" Harry whispered, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you"

Severus said nothing for a long moment

"If you ever do anything like this again" He finally growled "I'll kill you myself"

Harry laughed, the sound ringing of pure happiness and causing the rest of his family to awake. He found himself hugged even tighter than before and smiled

"So" He said breaking the silence and the emotion of the moment "What'd I miss?"

* * *

_And so it ends_

_

* * *

_  
Severus' quarters were quiet

On his favourite couch Severus was reading a potions book, his face a mix of relaxation and enjoyment. At his feet sat Harry who was leaning against his father's legs, reading a novel Hermione had recommended and enjoying it immensely. Every time Severus turned the page his hand would lower to run absently through Harry's hair, causing him to lean into the gentle touch.

In front of the fire Ron moved a pawn on the chess plate while Dumbledore studied the board with twinkling eyes and ate from a packet of sherbet lemons that were placed carefully at his side. He moved a queen and Ron frowned in thought

Lying on her stomach just near them lay Hermione who was re-doing her Transfiguration essay and, every now and then, looking to see if Ron had any chances of actually winning the game before turning pack to her parchment

On a table, discarded and wrinkled, a copy of the Daily Prophet lay, it's headline catching anyone's immediate attention by proclaiming _'Boy-Who-Lived Defeats Dark Lord!'_ and having a full half-paged picture of a smiling Harry Potter

Harry finished another chapter and took the opportunity to study his family. His powers were growing so rapidly that Harry was having trouble controlling them but all of them were helping him to cope with the stress. Tom still inhabited his head and made sarcastic and humours comments anytime anything got too dull for his liking.

As though sensing his thoughtfulness Severus looked down upon him, his eyes asking a silent question more adequately than words ever could: _'Are you alright?'_

And Harry, as he looked around the room at his real family that he knew would never desert him, thought that, for the first time in his life, he really, truly was.

And he always would be

* * *

_**The End!**_

_**

* * *

**_

**AN: **Awww! I'm sorry, but I'm _such _a sucker for happy endings. They make me sigh. sigh see? lol!. I was going to do a sequel but considering the amount of reviews I got I don't think I will (plus, i'd take ages to write!). I hope you all enjoyed this story (as sappy and sentimental as it was). If you want to read a sad story, try 'Figments Forever', which can be foind on my profile page. I can't believe I've actually finished this story. I rather liked it (but I'm bias, no?) and I'd love to hear your oppinon on it if you can take a moment to review. This story wasn't mine. The poems were. I'll end this with a quote! Got to love quotes so here's one by anonymous..._ **  
**_

**Quote of the day:**

_Unremembered, yesterday is extinct  
Without yesterday, today has no meaning  
Who are you if forgotten?  
Who are you but the sum of your memories?_


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